A MYRIAD OF OBSERVATIONS

So far in the merry, merry month of May, we've seen any number of events transpire, paramount of which is the elimination of the most wanted villain in the world. Then, in no particular order, there's been Major League Baseball taking control of the Dodgers, while the team achieves mediocrity on the field; We're watching another TV season end with, as usual, reality shows topping the ratings; and last, but certainly not least, the struggle of man's best friend to perform an evacuation for his doting, spandex-clad mistress. Yes, even the great Canine Constipation Caper merits note in this month's myriad of observations.

THIS IS A BULLETIN FROM CBS NEWS...

That's how they would slate it in television's first 15 years. A bulletin, like one would receive on an Associated Press ticker. Sunday May 1st, the slate read CBS NEWS Special Report, crawling at the bottom of the screen while 60 Minutes continued. I was on air, executing an innocuous weekend, TV on, as usual. It's pretty much a good idea to always have it on during an important ball game, or tuned to news, in case something of note should occur. Music stations don't pay for the Associated Press, anymore, and the internet is not as fast at breaking news as the networks and news channels on TV.

When CBS semi-interrupts its signature news program with a crawl that reads the "President of the United States will speak in half an hour," it gets your attention. What the hell could be happening on a Sunday night, 7:30 PDT, 10:30 Eastern Time? What topped my mind was, would I have to go on air with what ever is happening? Music stations do not, as a rule, stop the music unless there's a local emergency, war is declared, or someone of political prominence as been assassinated.

This is how I came to deliver the news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by Navy Seals in a surprise attack. I wasn't the first to break the news. I had to call the boss, then waited until the music sweep came to it's end at 8:18, just before President Obama addressed the nation. By then, all the networks had confirmed that Bin Laden was dead, but those in their cars listening to KRTH got it first from yours truly.

Even while playing a small role in the announcement of an historic moment, a student of journalism or "news junkie," can't help but observe how a major event is reported. Anyone my age or older remembers where they were and what they were doing when JFK, RFK and MLK, Jr. were assassinated; when Neil Armstrong stepped foot on the moon's surface; when Nixon resigned; when the Challenger exploded...and when those jets struck the twin towers and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001.

All I can tell you about November 22, 1963 was that the news came on, and wouldn't stop. No cartoons. Such is the perspective of a Four-year-old. My sister remembers the tears in Walter Cronkite's eyes as he broke the news. She was seven, and her recollection predates the thousands of times the moment has been replayed in the last 30 years. Usually, it's something like that which will stand out during the reporting of a crisis.

All of us vividly recall the late Peter Jennings in his shirtsleeves, on the air, day and night after Tuesday, 9/11/01. He was in control, calm and collected, and asking his director to linger on a shot of firefighters draping a flag across the roof of the Pentagon, nearest to where the intentionally crashed jetliner had left a gaping hole.

Sunday May 1st, because I was on the air, and had to quickly and concisely draft a bulletin for delivery on a music station (short and to the point), I didn't sample all the networks, but saw that NBC (reporting first on MSNBC, then breaking over the NBC network) had their first team working, regardless of the hour, and irrespective of it being Sunday night. David Gregory, host of Meet the Press, was first on, followed by White House Correspondent Chuck Todd, then Brian Williams, the nation's top-rated news anchor.

I had the studio TV on CBS, of course, with an occasional eye on 60 Minutes. It was Lara Logan's first appearance since her horrible assault in Egypt. I wrote an earlier post on this blog about Lara. It was as if our worst nightmare came true when she was attacked by that mob in February. Her disturbing account of the assault had concluded around 8:20, PDT. Within twenty minutes, she was back on the air, jarringly, describing Bin Laden and Al-Qaeda, in her role as CBS Chief Foreign Correspondent. In New York, hours had passed. Here, it made your head jerk! My God...this woman's resiliency! For now, it's the thing that stands out about what I saw, Sunday night, before the President spoke. There was something else I noted, though: Where were the rest of the CBS first-teamers?

Poor, sedate Russ Mitchell, seemed almost too calm, and over matched. The rest of the CBS crew gave good, hard news reports, but they are not well known at all. Bob Orr, David Martin, Chip Reid at the White House. If ever a network suffered from being in third place for twenty years, and if there were ever proof that it doesn't pay to not have a news channel under your company umbrella (as NBC does), CBS is it. Katie Couric will be gone, June 3rd, probably to ABC for a talk show, in 2012. The talent paid millions to be the face of the news organization was not to be found when the network reported that, at long last, Bin Laden was dead.

I couldn't help thinking back on the talent that went through CBS in the 60's, 70's and early 80's. SERIOUS journalists who were out front and ahead on every story from Moonshots to Vietnam, from Watergate to The Iran Hostage situation. My bookshelves are filled with memoirs by Roger Mudd, Dan Rather, Walter Cronkite, Bob Sheiffer, Daniel Shorr, and others who tell the story of how television journalism (specifically at CBS News) took shape, kept the country informed, and created a hefty sense of internal pride. They are trying to restore that pride. For nostalgia's sake, I certainly hope the company has their day once more.


D-O-D-G-E-R-S TEAM, TEAM, TEAM, TEAM...

What a mess. And I'm not just talking about their play on the field (we'll get to that later). In January of 2004, when Frank McCourt first stood before a press gaggle as "owner" of the Dodgers, I was listening to Big Joe McDonnell one of the most cogent and accurate sports voices in L.A. After ten minutes of McCourt, Big Joe went on and surmised that the guy was full of it, and that his highly leveraged acquisition of the team would lead to nothing but trouble. Did I say Joe's thoughts were cogent and accurate? In ten minutes he heard what it took Major League Baseball seven years to build a case against. Neither Joe nor MLB could have known that Frank and Jamie McCourt would have a messy divorce, but no one needs a crystal ball to have seen how they used the money gleaned from the teams assets.
After the Los Angeles Times reported that McCourt had to borrow 30 million to meet the Dodgers April payroll, Commissioner Bud Selig swooped in at last. They won't call it receivership, but what other term would one use when you take control of a franchise away from an owner?

For his part, McCourt has been on a media blitz, talking to any and every one with an open microphone...sort of like Charlie Sheen without the Tiger's Blood or the porn stars...trying desperately to win a public relations offensive based on flash, not substance. Guess what team won't meet payroll again, this month? Mr. McCourt should, for the sake of this great ball club, give up the ghost and cash out. There are any number of names with deep, deep pockets and community cache who would bring the luster back to Chavez Ravine--on and off the field.

The horrific beating of Giant fan Brian Stow has really cast a pawl over the start of the season. For reasons I've yet to determine, this incident resonated more than the killing of a Giant fan in the parking lot a few years ago, or the stabbing death of a fan outside Angel Stadium in Anaheim in 2009. It may well be because Mr. Stow was an EMT, and it was his life's work to come to the aid of his fellow man. It may also be that Dodger fans are fed up with whom they have to share the stadium with. It's been a poorly kept secret that fights have been a frequent occurrence in both outfield pavilions at Dodger Stadium, and in the Field level corners by the foul poles. That's where, in 2000, I saw a Giant fan pop a beach ball, hand his eye-glasses to his wife, then head into the aisle to meet four punks in Dodger-garb. They swarmed the Giant fan like they were back on the prison yard. And those not engaged in the beat-down looked on--some with toddlers seated on their shoulders so the kids could see the fight. It sickened me. It's been eleven years, and I still won't buy tickets in those sections.

Whoever purchases the Dodgers once MLB takes full control and kicks McCourt to the curb for certain, will have the money to make the team and the stadium experience much better. Even before Mr. Stow was attacked, and long before the Commissioner castrated Frank's ownership, I viewed the guys on the field as doomed to mediocrity-- nothing better than a .500 season looms. I wish I weren't right, but injuries and some obvious needs make the 2011 Dodgers worthy of all the empty seats you see at the stadium. Aside from Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp, L.A. is ordinary. Clayton Kershaw's curve is amazing, but, like his right-handed counterpart, Chad Bilingsley, there's usually one inconsistent inning per game that staves off greatness.

In short,(and mostly because McCourt has no money) they let their catcher, Russell Martin go, rather than pay him like a veteran. The Yankees are very happy to have him, as they cruise first place in the American League East. L.A. needs more punch at first base, a younger third baseman, an RBI man in left field, an established ace to lead the pitching staff, and a true closer, because Big Jon Broxton will give us all heart attacks, even when his elbow is healthy. McCourt's penny-pinching has a hand in all this. And yes, regardless of his performance-enhancing-drugs embarrassment, there would never have been a Mannywood, and the exciting close to 2008, had the Red Sox not paid all of Ramirez remaining salary for that season. The Dodgers got him free, essentially. Then they paid him...and he promptly got caught.

Steve Garvey says he's lined up two deep-pocketed investors. Rumors abound that the hallowed former owner of the Dodgers, Peter O'Malley, would come back to run the team with the right money behind him. Magic Johnson is interested in putting together a consortium. Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks is always looking to own a baseball team. There are options, here, to putting the Dodgers back on top. My Blue Blood is up! I hope something happens before the team has to play in front of no one but cleaning crews.

WHAT THE HELL IS SO REAL ABOUT REALITY?

I'm fed up with the talent shows, amateur hours, and anything that entails people performing a task, then being judged by three to four effete, supercilious entities who either weep for the poor varlots, or revel in their own superiority. These shows are relatively cheap to produce, and viewers are watching in droves. This perplexes me, because it means not too many share my viewing habits (speaking of reality shows-- ten years ago, who would have guessed Christina Aguilera and Kelly Osbourne would swap physiques? But I digress...). Folks, you are missing some funny shows:

Community, NBC Thursday, 8pm--You want laughs, you got 'em. Chevy Case hasn't been this amusing since Christmas Vacation.

The Office, NBC Thursday, 9pm--Steve Carell is gone, but he began to annoy me, anyway. The other characters are funny enough to carry the day.

Parks And Recreation, NBC Thursday 9:30pm -- In the mold of The Office. Amy Poehler has never been funnier. Rashida Jones is lovely and a great comedic actress. Like tThe Office, the other outrageous characters will both appall and amuse.

30 Rock, NBC, Thursday 10pm---Getting a little long in the tooth, but Tina Fey is a great writer. Alec Baldwin's comic timing is a true gift. The first few Emmy-winning seasons were the best.

Modern Family, ABC, Wednesday 9pm -- Again, like The Office and Parks and Recreation, filmed in documentary style, the writing here is crisp and never fails to deliver. Even if you have no sense of humor, Sofia Vergara is worth a look...or a good healthy stare!

Cougar Town ABC, Wednesday 9:30pm -- I feel like I'm the only person watching this. I'd rather laugh at a bunch of borderline boozers than absorb the pursuit of a mutilating serial killer on the competing Criminal Minds, or try and guess if evil will prevail on whatever verison of Law and Order that NBC is offering, these days. The mind behind Scrubs is the mind behind Cougar Town. That's enough for me, and Courteny Cox is holding up quite well, thank you.

...and the Dramas...

NCIS, CBS, Tuesday 8pm-- The humor, the camaraderie, Cote De Pablo? It's frequently the highest rated drama for a reason. And it holds its own against American Idol! Seacrest, OUT!!

The Good Wife, CBS Tuesday, 10pm -- The best written drama on TV. The casting is perfect. I've been a fan of Juliana Margulies since her days on ER. Some have called this a woman's show, but then they call every program that doesn't entail explosions "a woman's show." It has story arcs, yes, but there's nothing soapy about it. Watch an episode and tell me it's not superior to an hour of Trump browbeating
D-list celebrity messes.

Hawaii Five-O CBS, Monday 10pm, and Harry's Law, NBC, Monday 10pm-- Record one and watch the other. Hawaii Five-o had a tough task trying to re imagine a classic. With its casting and action sequences, I don't think Hawaiians will come to hate it as they did Jack Lord and the original, back in the late 60's/early 70's. As for Harry's Law, it's a David E, Kelly creation,which means quirky characters and peerless scripts. NBC will bring it back this Fall, for sure. Remember when they were the network that surmised everyone needed an hour of Jay Leno each weeknight at ten? See? We, as viewers, do have the power to stop corporate greed: stop watching shit!

AND FINALLY, A DOG DAY AFTERNOON

The last observation for May came as I tooled down the road between the mall and the former location of an Armstrong's Nursery. Call it a "Scene from the Suburbs": To my right was a grassy berm, in lieu of a sidewalk. In all of seven seconds, I saw a stunning woman, tightly wrapped in spandex and sneakers, wearing a visor just above her Sophia Loren-sized sunglasses, her pony tale bobbing around. In her right hand was a lime green plastic bag, in her left, the leash that controlled a beautiful Golden Retriever. As this good-looking lady jogged in place, the Golden Retriever assumed the position atop the berm, haunches quivering, face twitching, body shivering--it's as if this poor animal were trying to pass a Heisman Trophy! During these short, seven seconds of life, it occurred to me that this sexy woman, devoted, ready and willing to pick up after her distressed beast, would do anything for her dog--yet had neglected to put more fiber in his diet.

And no, I didn't look back to see if he'd "...made for mommy."

Thanks for your attention, and for more, check out my other blog at Lamediawatch.com, a new media sight from the imagination of Sky Walker. Click on "LAMEDIABLOG" for the story of "The Bag Man," a hilarious true to life radio tale of dead air and galloping gonads.