It's the middle of October, now, and yes I haven't blogged since June. That would have meant reliving the annoying summer of '11, with its jury duty, Smog Tests, fifteen hundred dollar car-parts, and more that makes me melt down. I promise an update befoee the year ends.
It turned out to be a better summer at Chavez ravine that I thought it would be. Yes, L.A. played before mostly janitorial staff, and the owner should be driven out of the city on a runaway rickshaw, but by summer's end, things we're looking up. Clayton Kershaw deserves the Cy Young Award, and Matt Kemp slugged and stole his way to an MVP-worthy campaign. Dodger fans can only hope the team will be in new hands by spring, ready to compete in post-season, again.
Elsewhere in Major League Baseball, 2011 couldn't have been more exciting. Three teams clinched play-off spots in extra-innings on the final day of the season. It doesn't get any better than that. We can only hope that a compelling World Series will follow. That hasn't been the case since 2002. What old-time network booth-announcers used to call, "...thrilling World Series action!" has eluded us, especially over the last five years.
If you're a true, traditional baseball fan, and want to see classic "thrillers," they are actually available on video. That couldn't be said, years ago, but now I can put together a list of the greatest series games since the birth of television, preserved in their entirety.
THE 25 GREATEST WORLD SERIES TELECASTS
1952 GAMES 6 & 7 NEW YORK YANKESS AT BROOKLYN DODGERS
The World Series was first telecast over four, east coast stations in 1947. The initial coast to coast classic was beamed via the co-axial cable in 1951. These are the earliest preserved, series telecasts, kinescoped for Gillette off WNBT, New York. The Dodgers had the Yanks down 3 games to 2 in Game 6, but the pinstripers fought back. In Game 7, the Mick homers, and Billy Martin makes a spectacular late-inning catch to disappoint Brooklyn fans, yet again. It's available on home video, or you can view it at the Paley Center in Beverly Hills. You'll marvel that the play-by-play men say very little--the style at the time was to provide captions for the pictures.
Announcers: Mel Allen and Red Barber, NBC
1956 GAME 5 BROOKLYN DODGERS AT NEW YORK YANKEES
It's the missing gem that collectors searched years for. In the early 1990's Doak Ewing, of Rare Sports Films, finally found a kinescope of Don Larsen's perfect game. Thought to be lost forever, from an age when NBC regularly burned film they had no room to house, all but the first inning of baseball's only post-season perfecto are here, Gillette commercials and all. A real World Series Thriller, one of the greatest games ever played.
Announcers: Mel Allen and Vin Scully, NBC
1960 GAME 7 NEW YORK YANKEES AT PITTSBURGH PIRATES
The hunt for this game ended sheerly by accident. Bing Crosby was part owner of the Pirates. Heavily superstitious, he left the country for vacation, as a wildly exciting 1960 series careened toward the concluding Game 7. In that age long before VCRs and DVRs, Bing ordered the game kinescoped by a a San Francisco-based production company. He watched it upon his return, knowing by then of it's unprecedented climax. Then he stored it in his wine cellar. There it stayed for half a century, until it was discovered, some 33 years after Bing's death. Like Larsen's perfect game, this has been high on the wish list of everyone who never saw it, live. Count me as one of those people. One of the earliest baseball stories I ever read was about the bad-hop that took down Yankee shortstop Tony Kubek, setting up Bill Mazeroski's eventual series ending heroics. It's available at MLB.com, and is one of the most exciting games I've ever seen. Those of us not old enough at the time (I was a year old) are surprised when Mel Allen tells us, "this World Series game is being brought to you live and in color on NBC."
The kinescope is black nad white.
Announcers: Mel Allen and Bob Prince, NBC
1965 GAME 7 LOS ANGELES DODGERS AT MINNESOTA TWINS
It would be great to see how NBC captured Bobby Richardson grabbing Willie McCovey's line drive to end the series in '62, Sandy Koufax striking out fifteen Yanks in 1963, or the Mick hitting a walk off shot against St. Louis in '64, but there's a huge gap in what's been found. Thanks to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, which aired NBC's coverage, we have all seven games of the '65 series, kinescoped in black and white...the best of which is Game 7. The greatness of Sandy Koufax is displayed, on two days rest, minus his knee-buckling curve, using fastballs to completely shackle the powerful Twins. He gets some great defensive help from Jim Gilliam in the 8th. NBC Instant-replays are a feature, here. It was also the last year that announcers for both teams handled all the play-by-play. That means vintage Scully!
Announcers: Vin Scully and Ray Scott, NBC
1968 GAME 1 DETROIT TIGERS AT ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
Once more, the CBC did what NBC did not do: keep copies of all seven games, albeit in black and white, and on kinescope, not color video tape. In Game 1, at a scorching Busch Stadium in St. Louis, Bob Gibson mows down the Motor City Kitties with a series-record 17 strikeouts. Pay special attention to the work of Harry Carey, then the Cardinals number one voice. In his final years, he digressed a lot during broadcasts, but in '68 he was at the top of his game--a SUPERB play-by-play man.
Announcers: Curt Gowdy, Harry Carey, NBC
1969 GAME 3 BALTIMORE ORIOLES AT NEW YORK METS
Another milestone: the earliest World Series game on color tape...in fact, what is called the "truck feed," minus commercials, but with all Tommie Agee's game-saving catches, first inning to last. Someone at NBC must have noted the historic nature of what was going on. The once woeful Mets turned it around on a Baltimore team that won 109 games, and then shocked the country by taking the series in 5 games. The contrast to previous games on monochrome kinescope is equally stunning.
Announcers: Curt Gowdy and Lindsey Nelson, NBC
1971 GAMES 4 & 7 BALTIMORE ORIOLES VS PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Game 4 is the first night game in World Series history. The Pirates' 14 hits and 4-3 victory tied the series at two games apiece. I remember watching this game. Previously, a mid-week game meant smuggling a transistor radio to school, if you were brave enough. Until this night, series games played on the east coast started at either 9 or 10 in the morning, Pacific time. If you lived in L.A., you watched the fall classic with oatmeal and toast, not peanuts and Cracker Jack. Game 7 gleams with the play of Roberto Clemente and the pitching of Steve Blass, who shut down the O's on that Sunday in Baltimore.
Announcers: Curt Gowdy and Chuck Thompson, NBC (both of whom looked stricken during the post-game wrap up, unable to hide their distress that the Bucs had prevailed)
1975 GAME 6 CINCINNATI REDS AT BOSTON RED SOX
We've gotten to what is considered by many the best game ever played. In Boston, it's thought of that way, for sure. The classic replay of Carlton Fisk rooting for his extra-inning blast to go fair was made possible when a camera man in the outfield wall was spooked by a rat. True story. The game is so much a part of baseball history, you'd think the Sox had won the series: They didn't.
Announcers: Curt Gowdy, Dick Stockton, Joe Garagiola, Tony Kubek, NBC
1977 GAME 6 LOS ANGELES DODGERS AT NEW YORK YANKEES
The 31st televised World Series was the first seen on a network other than NBC. A new TV package gave ABC the rights to the series every other year. Thus ended the policy of a home-team announcer as part of the telecast. Reggie Jackson's historic three-homer barrage was even harder to take because Howard Cosell was yammering all through Reggie's trip around the bases on tater number three. Each game is in a DVD package from MLB.com, the first Dodger-Yankee series since '63. The Reggie-straw stirred the drink, alright...to my everlasting chagrin.
Announcers: Keith Jackson, Howard Cosell, and Tom Seaver ABC
1978 GAME 2 NEW YORK YANKEES AT LOS ANGELES DODGERS
Shades of the '50's, with a Dodger-Yankee series in successive years. Same result: Yanks in 6. Game 2, however, gave us a thrilling stand-off--two on and two out in the 9th, Dodgers up 4-3, Reggie Jackson at the plate and 21-year old Bob welch on the mound for L-A. You could cut the tension with a knife. One of the greatest Fall Classic moments.
Announcers: Joe Garagiola and Tony Kubek, NBC
1984 GAME 5 SAN DIEGO PADRES AT DETROIT TIGERS
There was really no competition in this series. Detroit started the season 30 and 5, and rolled on from there. But Game 5 showcased a bravura performance by the Tigers' Kirk Gibson. He belted two home runs, the second a three-run job in the 8th, after the Padres pulled to within a run the previous inning. It was a preview of Gibson World Series heroics to come, and a great, great game. Also the first televised series called by Vin Scully since 1974.
Announcers: Vin Scully and Joe Garagiola, NBC
1986 GAME 6 BOSTON RED SOX AT NEW YORK METS
A Mets comeback so stunning it still takes your breath away. It took Boston 22 years to forgive Bill Buckner for the error that cost the Sox Game 6, and subsequently the series. Boston was one out away from their first World Championship since the end of World war I, when fate interceded. It still brings New Englanders to tears, but reigns as one of baseball's epic games, bar none. Again, Scully's poetry augments what was already high drama.
Announcers: Vin Scully and Joe Garagiola, NBC
1988 GAME 1 OAKLAND A'S AT LOS ANGELES DODGERS
The swingin' A's were supposed to sweep through Chavez Ravine with a broom, and it looked like they'd do just that until the 9th, when a gimpy-legged Kirk Gibson stepped into the box with two-out, one on, and the A's ahead, 4-3. As usual, Scully's description of the improbable conclusion was masterful, but Jack Buck's CBS Radio call is historic, as well: "I can't believe, what I just saw!!" Also worth a look is Jose Canseco's steriod-fueled grand slam in the second inning, which actually put a dent in NBC's centerfield camera. Gibson, though, is the story--one of the most sensational homers in the history of the sport.
Announcers: Vin Scully and Joe Garagiola, NBC
1991 GAME 7 ATLANTA BRAVES AT MINNESOTA TWINS
One of a small handfull of out-and-out-classic, seven game sets. Both teams had finished last in 1990. Each team's wins had come on its home field. Game 6 had gone 11 innings before Kirby Puckett won it with a homer, setting the stage for a heart-stopping Game 7. Jack Morris of Minnesota pitched ten shutout innings, and then the Twins finaly pushed across a run to capture the Series. It was a Sunday night to remember.
Announcers: Jack Buck and Tim McCarver, CBS
1993 GAMES 4 AND 6 TORONTO BLUE JAYS AND PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
The fourth and final Series Televised by CBS was the first with a representative from Canada, and the last played entirely on astro-turf. Game Four was the longest in World Series history, at 4 hours and 14 minutes, a tub-thumping slugfest that ended in a 15-14 victory for Toronto. The Jays scored 6 runs in the 8th to stun the Phils. This awe-inspiring, offensive tour de force proved significant: In Game 6, the Phillies were leading 6-5 in the bottom of the 9th. A win would force a Game 7. With two on, Joe Carter crushed a Mitch Williams fast ball, and a World Series ended with a walk-off homer for only the second time. I missed it, but heard Vin Scully's call on CBS Radio, while driving to a night club.
Announcers: Sean McDonough and Tim McCarver, CBS
1996 GAME 4 NEW YORK YANKEES AT ATLANTA BRAVES
MLB had weathered a strike that effected two seasons and cancelled the '94 series. The Yanks were back in the fall classic for the first time since the last strike year, 1981. The Braves were the reigning World Champs, and looked like they'd dominate the game for years to come. After blowing out the New Yorkers in the first two games, the Bravos were poised to take a 3-games-to-1 lead in Game 4. His team down 5-3 in the 8th, Yankee catcher Jim Leyritz blasted a three run-jack that turned the series on its ear. It would be the Yanks who won the series and started a dynasty, not the Braves. It was the first series televised on the ten year-old Fox network. Since '96, only the '97 and '99 series were on a network other than Fox.
Announcers: Joe Buck, Bob Brenly, and Tim McCarver, FOX
1997 GAME 7 CLEVELAND INDIANS AT FLORIDA MARLINS
The Indians were in seventh heaven. They had a four-year-old, state-of-the-art ball park, were in their second series in three years, and boasted a hard-hitting team that could blast their way through snow, sleet or steam. They'd have to do all that, because there were flurries in Cleveland during the series, and steamy humidity in Miami. The Marlins began play in 1993--they were only one year older than the Tribe's stadium! Game 7 was all a fan could ask for: The World Championship was settled on the last at bat of the 11th inning. This would be the second to last World Series ever televised by NBC.
Announcers: Bob Costas, Bob Uecker, and Joe Morgan, NBC
2000 GAME 2 NEW YORK METS AT NEW YORK YANKEES
The first series of the 21st century (or the last series of the 20th...it depends on how you look at the year 2000), was the first Subway Series since Dodgers-Yanks,1956.
The Yankees ruled baseball like lords at the turn of the century. They won three straight series. Game 3 in 2000 would inflict their only loss. Game 2 is a classic, however, because Roger Clemens and Mets catcher Mike Piazza nearly came to blows. The Mets scored 5 in the ninth to make it exciting, but to quote the title of Joe Torre's subsequent book, these were "The Yankee Years." Outside New York, there was as little interest as there's ever been for a World Series on television. The 2000 classic drew the lowest ratings since they started playing the Series at night.
Announcers: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, FOX
2001 GAME 7 NEW YORK YANKEES AT ARZIONA DIAMONDBACKS
Like the Marlins before them, the D-Backs were an expansion team enjoying their first series after a very short time in existance. The Yankees were in pursuit of their fourth straight series title, harkening back to the '30's, '40's, and '50's, when the Pinstripers were Kingpins of the diamond. This uber-exciting, seven game set helped draw the country out of its pawl, following the events of 9/11. After winning two heart-stopping extra-inning thrillers in New York (with walk-off homers), the Yanks strode into Arizona for Game 6 needing one win to wrap it up. The D-Backs crushed them 15-2, behind the picthing of Randy Johnson. Next evening, the teams played the third series game ever played in November. Roger Clemens vs Curt Schilling. There was no score after 5 innings. Arizona took a 1-0 lead in the 6th, The Yanks came back with a run in the 7th and another in the 8th. Leading 2-1, they rode the arm of only the greatest closer in the history of the game, Mariano Rivera, into the 9th. One out, a run in, Jay Bell on third for the D-Backs, Luis Gonzales at the plate...I think the slogan was born that evening: I live for this>
Announcers: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, FOX
2002 GAME 6 SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS AT ANAHEIM ANGELS
The Angels were one of a handfull of teams that had never been to the World Series. The Giants had not held a world title since they fled Manhattan. San Francisco was in control, leading the series 3 games to 2, and Game 6, 5-0 in the bottom of the
8th, when all hell, and rally monkeys, broke loose. It was as close to a ring as Barry Bonds would get. Needless to say, a game seven would be played, and the Angels would win their first-ever series--but it's Game 6 that shook the Richter Scale all the way from the Big A.
Announcers: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, FOX
2004 GAME 4 BOSTON RED SOX AT THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
We're getting to that point in history where the series itself starts taking a back seat to the LCS. The Sox, with their tortured history of caticlism and collapse, had been down to the Yankees, 3 games to none in the ALCS. Then they did something no baseball team had done in the post-season: they won four staright and took the pennant right out of those greedy Yankee hands! Then they overwhelmed a St. Louis Cardinal team that had won 105 games in the regular season. Game 4 in the 2004 Series is a classic because it culminated in the cloud finally lifting for the Sox, and the dream coming true at last: The first Boston World Series win since 1918. It were as if anguishing defeats in 1946, '67, '75 and '86 were finally avenged. A great story, if not a great series.
Announcers: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, FOX
2005 GAME 4 CHICAGO WHITE SOX AT HOUSTON ASTROS
Lost in the commotion over Boston shedding its jinx and winning a World championship in the era of electronic media, was the fact the Chicago White Sox hadn't won a series since 1917 . The Chisox hadn't even been in a series since 1959, when the Dodgers beat 'em in 6. So Game 4 in 2005 brought relief to another long-standing American League stalwart. The pride of the South Side swept Houston (in its first series) clinching the title with a 1-0 win. Historic, in that Chicago had not won a World Series since the advent of broadcasting. Thus, the 1-zip classic that ends our list of 25 Great World Series Telecasts.
Announcers: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, FOX
Where are those other great moments, you may ask? Billy Martin knocking in Hank Bauer with the series ending run in game 6, 1953. Willie Mays' sensational catch in Game 1 of the 1954 series? Sandy Amoros equally spectacular catch and throw that preserved a lead and helped Brooklyn win their first series in 1955? Eddie Matthews amazing grab that ended the '57 classic? How about a pan of the L.A. Coliseum through NBC color cameras in '59? Jim Lonborg's near no-hitter over St. Louis in Fenway Park, Game 2, 1967?
I could say they're all gone, but there's always a chance they could be laying around, somewhere. NBC, which held exclusive rights to World Series telecasts from 1947 to 1975,and radio broadcasts 1957 to 1975, did not save copies of the games. To save expenses, because they had no room and/or saw no use for them, kinescopes were routinely destroyed. When video tape came into use, it was two-inches wide, and very expensive--close to a thousand dollars a reel. NBC always had the poorest archives of all the networks. Somehow, ABC, with its lean earnings in the 60's, managed to house copies of Wide World Of Sports, and classic NCAA College Football games, like Notre dame-MIchigan State in 1966, and USC-UCLA in 1967. Had those games been televised by NBC, you wouldn't be able to enjoy the highlights on You Tube, today.
CBS was best at archiving because of a system their fastidious president Frank Stanton put into place. Their news and entertainment archives are nothing else than outstanding. It also helped that entertainers like Ed Sullivan made enough money to store the tapes of his shows. That's why all those classic rock and roll performances can be seen today. At NBC, they erased nearly a decade of Johnny Carson's Tonight Show, much to Johnny's chagrin. After 1970, when he took over ownership of the program, Carson had each tape stored deep underground in Kansas. His nephew now oversees the library. It's computerized so that a key word can bring up any particular interview or performance.
So that's why the list stops at 25. I have a fan's daydream, though...that there's a 90-year-old, retired Chief Engineer from an NBC affliate somehwere, with two dusty spools of color video tape in his basement. And that his grandson will run across them, only to discover Sandy Koufax in the sunshine of October 6, 1963,in Game 4 of the World Series, vanquishing the Yankees, in living color.
POST SCRIPT, OCTOBER 23, 2011
Make it 26 Greatest games...
2011 GAME 3 ST. LOUIS CARDINALS AT TEXAS RANGERS
Albert Pujols got five hits, four in consecutive innings. More importanly, he hit three home runs, as The Cards kept Texas at bay in a slugfest that ended, 16-7. An egregiously bad call in the fourth inning opened the flood gates for St. Louis. ranger first baseman Mike Napoli made a sensational leaping tag that everyone saw except the umpire. A footnote: there were at least four sensational College football games on the air against this broadcast--which means fewer people saw Pujols hitting exhibition than will admit in the future. It's a shame it was played on a Saturday. There wasn't the finality of Reggie Jackson's three dingers in '77 to end the series...but then, this one 's not over, yet.
ANNOUNCERS: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, FOX
2011 GAME 6 TEXAS RANGERS AT ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
Delayed one day by a dire weather forecast, The Rangers came within a strike of the World Championship in the 9th and 10th innings. The Cards David Freese ended a four and a half hours of mortal combat with a homer to center in the 11th. The game started off with both teams a little edgy, defensively, but the teams went mano a mano, homer for homer into the chilly St. Louis night, setting the statge for the first climactic Game 7 since 2002.
ANNOUNCERS: Jack Buck and Tim McCarver, FOX
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
ALL BEEF WEINER
What in the wide, wide world of Weiners causes a Congressman to tweet pics of his Pete? For that matter, what has society come to, when the definition of the verb "tweet" entails more than a bird's morning chirps?
I'm not sure about the latter, but I think the former can be found in the Big Book of Psychological Disorders. In it, psycologists can find the answers to other questions: What fuels the craving for power? Upon what impulse does the exhibitionist act? I don't mean to go all "Dr. Phil," here, but this most recent, lurid tale of inappropriate behavior by a politician has me in the mood to find some answers, and settle the matter. It could be the jaded skepticism that has grown on me like moss after three decades in radio. A healthy dose of reality roars this full-throated message that Fuck-ups are everywhere; that it's more human and ordinary than we choose to believe; that there are Weiners (those unfortunately named in a similar manner, those not) in every walk of life. We are unrealistically surprised and judgemental when they are in politics or entertainment.
Please remember that in our country, regardless of what you hear, and regardless of its bewildering bureaucracy, our government actually works. It's the politics of any business (including PARTISAN POLITICS) that gets in the way. The politics makes hay of a narcissist like Congressman Weiner and the other Democrats AND Republicans who buy whores, chase boys, pose stripped to the waist, or exercise their horny prerogatives while spouting belief in Family, Faith, Moral Superiority and drilling virgin territory (no pun intended).
Our sudden burst of technological wonders have made it worse. Not much is private, anymore, yet we have to be hit over the head to understand that fact. Beginning with cordless phones, some 25 years ago, a Federal request for a phone tap was no longer needed to eavesdrop--all you had to do was buy a device to hear your neighbor's phone calls.
For those so inclined, it used to take a Polaroid One-Step to photograph your fun-mate in the nude, laying languid and spent following a zesty session of lovemaking. Now, these orgiastic bursts of brain farts are snapped on a smart phone and sent into cyberspace...to what I'm sure will be the future embarrassment of both the photographer and his/her lusty subject.
What I'm saying is that it takes an ego pretty large and a naivety equally huge to, 1) take naked pictures of yourself when you're not Brooklyn Decker, and 2) not expect them to be discovered and revealed.
Yet, it is within the realm of human nature to do so. Decades ago, I had a co-worker show me a Polaroid of his ex-wife in post-coital recline, ta-tas akimbo, looking either like bowling pins or twin baby sea lions (whiskers and all). This was unfortunate--the next time I saw the woman, I had to look away. The embarrassment was all mine, for she knew not of her ex's betrayal. A weak human moment paved the way for discomfort. Imagine the kind of damage that photo could do today?
I thank God for modesty, every day. We're up against a beast, here on this world-wide-web. We have at our fingertips what those born in the first 25 years of the
1900's could only dream of. If there's something you want to keep private, you have to be vigilant, lest you be hurt, and lest you hurt the ones you love. Ask the very lovely Mrs. Weiner, Huma. In my callow youth I used to ask how a guy could even imagine being unfaithful when such a beautiful woman is in one's life. Now, of course, I know the answer is found in our human experience...and that Big Book of Psychological Disorders.
THE KOVACS COLLECTION
My career has been periodically plagued by having to work stretches in late night shifts, and for about two years, the overnighter. It plays long-term havoc with one's ability to straighten out sleeping rhythms. So I'm often up late, whether I want to be or not (contrary to the bleating of at least one evening radio person, after midnight is when most insomniacs are functioning--not earlier). If you've read earlier posts on this blog, you know that, because of the hours I've kept, I'm well versed in the history of Late Night TV.
There is one brilliant comedian who no longer gets the credit he is due, mostly because died nearly fifty years ago, a week before he would have turned 43 years of age. Because so much of his work was burned, tossed into the Hudson River, or otherwise discarded by NBC, it has nearly passed from memory that for the last six months of 1956, Ernie Kovacs hosted the Tonight Show on Monday and Tuesday nights.
The few remaining kinescopes from his Tonight Show work can be viewed at the Paley Center (formerly the Museum of Television and Radio, on Beverly Blvd. in Beverly Hills). To see Kovacs in total, you can do as I did, and get a copy of "The Kovacs Collection."
Ernie Kovacs has often been called the first comedian to truly use the medium, as opposed to comics who performed their radio or vaudeville acts on early TV. He's also been called the "Dali" of the small screen--a surrealist, for sure. I agree. Ernie influenced everyone from David Letterman to Chevy Chase, and was the true fore bearer of Laugh-In, Saturday Night Live, Second City TV, and all that forced you to think as you laughed. I fear that in today's ADHD world, a comedian like Kovacs would be consigned to Public TV and endless pledge breaks.
To watch the collection is to see the genesis of television itself: production train wrecks, pacing and technical problems, the growing pains of an infant medium that would lose today's viewer. Yet Kovacs' genius stands out. Most of his best efforts harpoon TV itself, especially his send-up of the kid's show Howdy Doody, "Howdy Deedy." Kovacs plays "Buffalo Milos," the Hungarian version of the real Howdy Doody host, Buffalo Bob. Buffalo Milos, with a heavy Hungarian accent, and in a full mourning suit, gets so annoyed with the marionette, he walks over, takes out a pair of scissors and clips its strings. The camera then pans a row of child actors in the skit, their mouths agape.
I laughed like hell. When I read in the accompanying pamphlet that Letterman had watched as many Kovacs kinescopes as were available before starting his own show 30 years ago, I could see the influence. In '92, Letterman did a flashback bit to explain what happened the last time he'd been on Sesame Street. In the bit, Letterman accidentally sets Oscar the Grouch afire with his cigar. It's subversive, hilarious stuff.
A great deal of thanks must go to Ernie's late widow, Edie Adams, whose efforts to preserve Kovacs' work were nothing less than herculean. She worked like hell after his death--literally and figuratively--to buy back all of his remaining kinescopes and two-inch reel-to-reel videotapes. When you get a chance to view the Kovacs Collection, it's the videotaped specials done for ABC in 1960-61 that capture his essence best. Sadly, he left us long before his time. I hope this collection keeps the memory of Ernie Kovacs living amongst all who appreciate creativity.
*
The subject of the Great Kovacs wouldn't be complete without establishing his place in Tonight Show history. It reads like this: The show's originator and innovator, Steve Allen (who should be the subject of another blog, later this summer)hosted from 1954 to 1957, with Kovacs taking Mondays and Tuesdays in late 1956. Allen started a Sunday night prime time show in the fall of tha year. When Steve left Tonight to focus entirely on his prime time program, NBC opted to make the show more like it's sister telecast, Today. Tonight: America After Dark proved a disaster that didn't last beyond July of 1957. Jack Paar then took over and revolutionized late night talk. Paar left in April, 1962, NBC filled with guest hosts until Johnny Carson's ABC contract ran out, then Johnny debuted, October 1 of that year.
The rest is recent history: Carson retired on May 22, 1992. Leno's first day was May 25, and, save the nine months that Conan O'Brien hosted the show in 2009, he'll host it until NBC is no longer a viable conduit to provide television programming. He'll do the show until he has fossilized--I'm convinced! Woe unto Jimmy Fallon if he believes Leno will ever step aside again...while any of us are young.
By the way, it was while quickly surfing past Late Night with Jimmy Fallon that I thought I saw Christina Aguilera...and it turned out to be Kirstie Alley! That's good news for one, bad news for the other.
I'm not sure about the latter, but I think the former can be found in the Big Book of Psychological Disorders. In it, psycologists can find the answers to other questions: What fuels the craving for power? Upon what impulse does the exhibitionist act? I don't mean to go all "Dr. Phil," here, but this most recent, lurid tale of inappropriate behavior by a politician has me in the mood to find some answers, and settle the matter. It could be the jaded skepticism that has grown on me like moss after three decades in radio. A healthy dose of reality roars this full-throated message that Fuck-ups are everywhere; that it's more human and ordinary than we choose to believe; that there are Weiners (those unfortunately named in a similar manner, those not) in every walk of life. We are unrealistically surprised and judgemental when they are in politics or entertainment.
Please remember that in our country, regardless of what you hear, and regardless of its bewildering bureaucracy, our government actually works. It's the politics of any business (including PARTISAN POLITICS) that gets in the way. The politics makes hay of a narcissist like Congressman Weiner and the other Democrats AND Republicans who buy whores, chase boys, pose stripped to the waist, or exercise their horny prerogatives while spouting belief in Family, Faith, Moral Superiority and drilling virgin territory (no pun intended).
Our sudden burst of technological wonders have made it worse. Not much is private, anymore, yet we have to be hit over the head to understand that fact. Beginning with cordless phones, some 25 years ago, a Federal request for a phone tap was no longer needed to eavesdrop--all you had to do was buy a device to hear your neighbor's phone calls.
For those so inclined, it used to take a Polaroid One-Step to photograph your fun-mate in the nude, laying languid and spent following a zesty session of lovemaking. Now, these orgiastic bursts of brain farts are snapped on a smart phone and sent into cyberspace...to what I'm sure will be the future embarrassment of both the photographer and his/her lusty subject.
What I'm saying is that it takes an ego pretty large and a naivety equally huge to, 1) take naked pictures of yourself when you're not Brooklyn Decker, and 2) not expect them to be discovered and revealed.
Yet, it is within the realm of human nature to do so. Decades ago, I had a co-worker show me a Polaroid of his ex-wife in post-coital recline, ta-tas akimbo, looking either like bowling pins or twin baby sea lions (whiskers and all). This was unfortunate--the next time I saw the woman, I had to look away. The embarrassment was all mine, for she knew not of her ex's betrayal. A weak human moment paved the way for discomfort. Imagine the kind of damage that photo could do today?
I thank God for modesty, every day. We're up against a beast, here on this world-wide-web. We have at our fingertips what those born in the first 25 years of the
1900's could only dream of. If there's something you want to keep private, you have to be vigilant, lest you be hurt, and lest you hurt the ones you love. Ask the very lovely Mrs. Weiner, Huma. In my callow youth I used to ask how a guy could even imagine being unfaithful when such a beautiful woman is in one's life. Now, of course, I know the answer is found in our human experience...and that Big Book of Psychological Disorders.
THE KOVACS COLLECTION
My career has been periodically plagued by having to work stretches in late night shifts, and for about two years, the overnighter. It plays long-term havoc with one's ability to straighten out sleeping rhythms. So I'm often up late, whether I want to be or not (contrary to the bleating of at least one evening radio person, after midnight is when most insomniacs are functioning--not earlier). If you've read earlier posts on this blog, you know that, because of the hours I've kept, I'm well versed in the history of Late Night TV.
There is one brilliant comedian who no longer gets the credit he is due, mostly because died nearly fifty years ago, a week before he would have turned 43 years of age. Because so much of his work was burned, tossed into the Hudson River, or otherwise discarded by NBC, it has nearly passed from memory that for the last six months of 1956, Ernie Kovacs hosted the Tonight Show on Monday and Tuesday nights.
The few remaining kinescopes from his Tonight Show work can be viewed at the Paley Center (formerly the Museum of Television and Radio, on Beverly Blvd. in Beverly Hills). To see Kovacs in total, you can do as I did, and get a copy of "The Kovacs Collection."
Ernie Kovacs has often been called the first comedian to truly use the medium, as opposed to comics who performed their radio or vaudeville acts on early TV. He's also been called the "Dali" of the small screen--a surrealist, for sure. I agree. Ernie influenced everyone from David Letterman to Chevy Chase, and was the true fore bearer of Laugh-In, Saturday Night Live, Second City TV, and all that forced you to think as you laughed. I fear that in today's ADHD world, a comedian like Kovacs would be consigned to Public TV and endless pledge breaks.
To watch the collection is to see the genesis of television itself: production train wrecks, pacing and technical problems, the growing pains of an infant medium that would lose today's viewer. Yet Kovacs' genius stands out. Most of his best efforts harpoon TV itself, especially his send-up of the kid's show Howdy Doody, "Howdy Deedy." Kovacs plays "Buffalo Milos," the Hungarian version of the real Howdy Doody host, Buffalo Bob. Buffalo Milos, with a heavy Hungarian accent, and in a full mourning suit, gets so annoyed with the marionette, he walks over, takes out a pair of scissors and clips its strings. The camera then pans a row of child actors in the skit, their mouths agape.
I laughed like hell. When I read in the accompanying pamphlet that Letterman had watched as many Kovacs kinescopes as were available before starting his own show 30 years ago, I could see the influence. In '92, Letterman did a flashback bit to explain what happened the last time he'd been on Sesame Street. In the bit, Letterman accidentally sets Oscar the Grouch afire with his cigar. It's subversive, hilarious stuff.
A great deal of thanks must go to Ernie's late widow, Edie Adams, whose efforts to preserve Kovacs' work were nothing less than herculean. She worked like hell after his death--literally and figuratively--to buy back all of his remaining kinescopes and two-inch reel-to-reel videotapes. When you get a chance to view the Kovacs Collection, it's the videotaped specials done for ABC in 1960-61 that capture his essence best. Sadly, he left us long before his time. I hope this collection keeps the memory of Ernie Kovacs living amongst all who appreciate creativity.
*
The subject of the Great Kovacs wouldn't be complete without establishing his place in Tonight Show history. It reads like this: The show's originator and innovator, Steve Allen (who should be the subject of another blog, later this summer)hosted from 1954 to 1957, with Kovacs taking Mondays and Tuesdays in late 1956. Allen started a Sunday night prime time show in the fall of tha year. When Steve left Tonight to focus entirely on his prime time program, NBC opted to make the show more like it's sister telecast, Today. Tonight: America After Dark proved a disaster that didn't last beyond July of 1957. Jack Paar then took over and revolutionized late night talk. Paar left in April, 1962, NBC filled with guest hosts until Johnny Carson's ABC contract ran out, then Johnny debuted, October 1 of that year.
The rest is recent history: Carson retired on May 22, 1992. Leno's first day was May 25, and, save the nine months that Conan O'Brien hosted the show in 2009, he'll host it until NBC is no longer a viable conduit to provide television programming. He'll do the show until he has fossilized--I'm convinced! Woe unto Jimmy Fallon if he believes Leno will ever step aside again...while any of us are young.
By the way, it was while quickly surfing past Late Night with Jimmy Fallon that I thought I saw Christina Aguilera...and it turned out to be Kirstie Alley! That's good news for one, bad news for the other.
Friday, May 6, 2011
A MYRIAD OF OBSERVATIONS
So far in the merry, merry month of May, we've seen any number of events transpire, paramount of which is the elimination of the most wanted villain in the world. Then, in no particular order, there's been Major League Baseball taking control of the Dodgers, while the team achieves mediocrity on the field; We're watching another TV season end with, as usual, reality shows topping the ratings; and last, but certainly not least, the struggle of man's best friend to perform an evacuation for his doting, spandex-clad mistress. Yes, even the great Canine Constipation Caper merits note in this month's myriad of observations.
THIS IS A BULLETIN FROM CBS NEWS...
That's how they would slate it in television's first 15 years. A bulletin, like one would receive on an Associated Press ticker. Sunday May 1st, the slate read CBS NEWS Special Report, crawling at the bottom of the screen while 60 Minutes continued. I was on air, executing an innocuous weekend, TV on, as usual. It's pretty much a good idea to always have it on during an important ball game, or tuned to news, in case something of note should occur. Music stations don't pay for the Associated Press, anymore, and the internet is not as fast at breaking news as the networks and news channels on TV.
When CBS semi-interrupts its signature news program with a crawl that reads the "President of the United States will speak in half an hour," it gets your attention. What the hell could be happening on a Sunday night, 7:30 PDT, 10:30 Eastern Time? What topped my mind was, would I have to go on air with what ever is happening? Music stations do not, as a rule, stop the music unless there's a local emergency, war is declared, or someone of political prominence as been assassinated.
This is how I came to deliver the news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by Navy Seals in a surprise attack. I wasn't the first to break the news. I had to call the boss, then waited until the music sweep came to it's end at 8:18, just before President Obama addressed the nation. By then, all the networks had confirmed that Bin Laden was dead, but those in their cars listening to KRTH got it first from yours truly.
Even while playing a small role in the announcement of an historic moment, a student of journalism or "news junkie," can't help but observe how a major event is reported. Anyone my age or older remembers where they were and what they were doing when JFK, RFK and MLK, Jr. were assassinated; when Neil Armstrong stepped foot on the moon's surface; when Nixon resigned; when the Challenger exploded...and when those jets struck the twin towers and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001.
All I can tell you about November 22, 1963 was that the news came on, and wouldn't stop. No cartoons. Such is the perspective of a Four-year-old. My sister remembers the tears in Walter Cronkite's eyes as he broke the news. She was seven, and her recollection predates the thousands of times the moment has been replayed in the last 30 years. Usually, it's something like that which will stand out during the reporting of a crisis.
All of us vividly recall the late Peter Jennings in his shirtsleeves, on the air, day and night after Tuesday, 9/11/01. He was in control, calm and collected, and asking his director to linger on a shot of firefighters draping a flag across the roof of the Pentagon, nearest to where the intentionally crashed jetliner had left a gaping hole.
Sunday May 1st, because I was on the air, and had to quickly and concisely draft a bulletin for delivery on a music station (short and to the point), I didn't sample all the networks, but saw that NBC (reporting first on MSNBC, then breaking over the NBC network) had their first team working, regardless of the hour, and irrespective of it being Sunday night. David Gregory, host of Meet the Press, was first on, followed by White House Correspondent Chuck Todd, then Brian Williams, the nation's top-rated news anchor.
I had the studio TV on CBS, of course, with an occasional eye on 60 Minutes. It was Lara Logan's first appearance since her horrible assault in Egypt. I wrote an earlier post on this blog about Lara. It was as if our worst nightmare came true when she was attacked by that mob in February. Her disturbing account of the assault had concluded around 8:20, PDT. Within twenty minutes, she was back on the air, jarringly, describing Bin Laden and Al-Qaeda, in her role as CBS Chief Foreign Correspondent. In New York, hours had passed. Here, it made your head jerk! My God...this woman's resiliency! For now, it's the thing that stands out about what I saw, Sunday night, before the President spoke. There was something else I noted, though: Where were the rest of the CBS first-teamers?
Poor, sedate Russ Mitchell, seemed almost too calm, and over matched. The rest of the CBS crew gave good, hard news reports, but they are not well known at all. Bob Orr, David Martin, Chip Reid at the White House. If ever a network suffered from being in third place for twenty years, and if there were ever proof that it doesn't pay to not have a news channel under your company umbrella (as NBC does), CBS is it. Katie Couric will be gone, June 3rd, probably to ABC for a talk show, in 2012. The talent paid millions to be the face of the news organization was not to be found when the network reported that, at long last, Bin Laden was dead.
I couldn't help thinking back on the talent that went through CBS in the 60's, 70's and early 80's. SERIOUS journalists who were out front and ahead on every story from Moonshots to Vietnam, from Watergate to The Iran Hostage situation. My bookshelves are filled with memoirs by Roger Mudd, Dan Rather, Walter Cronkite, Bob Sheiffer, Daniel Shorr, and others who tell the story of how television journalism (specifically at CBS News) took shape, kept the country informed, and created a hefty sense of internal pride. They are trying to restore that pride. For nostalgia's sake, I certainly hope the company has their day once more.
D-O-D-G-E-R-S TEAM, TEAM, TEAM, TEAM...
What a mess. And I'm not just talking about their play on the field (we'll get to that later). In January of 2004, when Frank McCourt first stood before a press gaggle as "owner" of the Dodgers, I was listening to Big Joe McDonnell one of the most cogent and accurate sports voices in L.A. After ten minutes of McCourt, Big Joe went on and surmised that the guy was full of it, and that his highly leveraged acquisition of the team would lead to nothing but trouble. Did I say Joe's thoughts were cogent and accurate? In ten minutes he heard what it took Major League Baseball seven years to build a case against. Neither Joe nor MLB could have known that Frank and Jamie McCourt would have a messy divorce, but no one needs a crystal ball to have seen how they used the money gleaned from the teams assets.
After the Los Angeles Times reported that McCourt had to borrow 30 million to meet the Dodgers April payroll, Commissioner Bud Selig swooped in at last. They won't call it receivership, but what other term would one use when you take control of a franchise away from an owner?
For his part, McCourt has been on a media blitz, talking to any and every one with an open microphone...sort of like Charlie Sheen without the Tiger's Blood or the porn stars...trying desperately to win a public relations offensive based on flash, not substance. Guess what team won't meet payroll again, this month? Mr. McCourt should, for the sake of this great ball club, give up the ghost and cash out. There are any number of names with deep, deep pockets and community cache who would bring the luster back to Chavez Ravine--on and off the field.
The horrific beating of Giant fan Brian Stow has really cast a pawl over the start of the season. For reasons I've yet to determine, this incident resonated more than the killing of a Giant fan in the parking lot a few years ago, or the stabbing death of a fan outside Angel Stadium in Anaheim in 2009. It may well be because Mr. Stow was an EMT, and it was his life's work to come to the aid of his fellow man. It may also be that Dodger fans are fed up with whom they have to share the stadium with. It's been a poorly kept secret that fights have been a frequent occurrence in both outfield pavilions at Dodger Stadium, and in the Field level corners by the foul poles. That's where, in 2000, I saw a Giant fan pop a beach ball, hand his eye-glasses to his wife, then head into the aisle to meet four punks in Dodger-garb. They swarmed the Giant fan like they were back on the prison yard. And those not engaged in the beat-down looked on--some with toddlers seated on their shoulders so the kids could see the fight. It sickened me. It's been eleven years, and I still won't buy tickets in those sections.
Whoever purchases the Dodgers once MLB takes full control and kicks McCourt to the curb for certain, will have the money to make the team and the stadium experience much better. Even before Mr. Stow was attacked, and long before the Commissioner castrated Frank's ownership, I viewed the guys on the field as doomed to mediocrity-- nothing better than a .500 season looms. I wish I weren't right, but injuries and some obvious needs make the 2011 Dodgers worthy of all the empty seats you see at the stadium. Aside from Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp, L.A. is ordinary. Clayton Kershaw's curve is amazing, but, like his right-handed counterpart, Chad Bilingsley, there's usually one inconsistent inning per game that staves off greatness.
In short,(and mostly because McCourt has no money) they let their catcher, Russell Martin go, rather than pay him like a veteran. The Yankees are very happy to have him, as they cruise first place in the American League East. L.A. needs more punch at first base, a younger third baseman, an RBI man in left field, an established ace to lead the pitching staff, and a true closer, because Big Jon Broxton will give us all heart attacks, even when his elbow is healthy. McCourt's penny-pinching has a hand in all this. And yes, regardless of his performance-enhancing-drugs embarrassment, there would never have been a Mannywood, and the exciting close to 2008, had the Red Sox not paid all of Ramirez remaining salary for that season. The Dodgers got him free, essentially. Then they paid him...and he promptly got caught.
Steve Garvey says he's lined up two deep-pocketed investors. Rumors abound that the hallowed former owner of the Dodgers, Peter O'Malley, would come back to run the team with the right money behind him. Magic Johnson is interested in putting together a consortium. Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks is always looking to own a baseball team. There are options, here, to putting the Dodgers back on top. My Blue Blood is up! I hope something happens before the team has to play in front of no one but cleaning crews.
WHAT THE HELL IS SO REAL ABOUT REALITY?
I'm fed up with the talent shows, amateur hours, and anything that entails people performing a task, then being judged by three to four effete, supercilious entities who either weep for the poor varlots, or revel in their own superiority. These shows are relatively cheap to produce, and viewers are watching in droves. This perplexes me, because it means not too many share my viewing habits (speaking of reality shows-- ten years ago, who would have guessed Christina Aguilera and Kelly Osbourne would swap physiques? But I digress...). Folks, you are missing some funny shows:
Community, NBC Thursday, 8pm--You want laughs, you got 'em. Chevy Case hasn't been this amusing since Christmas Vacation.
The Office, NBC Thursday, 9pm--Steve Carell is gone, but he began to annoy me, anyway. The other characters are funny enough to carry the day.
Parks And Recreation, NBC Thursday 9:30pm -- In the mold of The Office. Amy Poehler has never been funnier. Rashida Jones is lovely and a great comedic actress. Like tThe Office, the other outrageous characters will both appall and amuse.
30 Rock, NBC, Thursday 10pm---Getting a little long in the tooth, but Tina Fey is a great writer. Alec Baldwin's comic timing is a true gift. The first few Emmy-winning seasons were the best.
Modern Family, ABC, Wednesday 9pm -- Again, like The Office and Parks and Recreation, filmed in documentary style, the writing here is crisp and never fails to deliver. Even if you have no sense of humor, Sofia Vergara is worth a look...or a good healthy stare!
Cougar Town ABC, Wednesday 9:30pm -- I feel like I'm the only person watching this. I'd rather laugh at a bunch of borderline boozers than absorb the pursuit of a mutilating serial killer on the competing Criminal Minds, or try and guess if evil will prevail on whatever verison of Law and Order that NBC is offering, these days. The mind behind Scrubs is the mind behind Cougar Town. That's enough for me, and Courteny Cox is holding up quite well, thank you.
...and the Dramas...
NCIS, CBS, Tuesday 8pm-- The humor, the camaraderie, Cote De Pablo? It's frequently the highest rated drama for a reason. And it holds its own against American Idol! Seacrest, OUT!!
The Good Wife, CBS Tuesday, 10pm -- The best written drama on TV. The casting is perfect. I've been a fan of Juliana Margulies since her days on ER. Some have called this a woman's show, but then they call every program that doesn't entail explosions "a woman's show." It has story arcs, yes, but there's nothing soapy about it. Watch an episode and tell me it's not superior to an hour of Trump browbeating
D-list celebrity messes.
Hawaii Five-O CBS, Monday 10pm, and Harry's Law, NBC, Monday 10pm-- Record one and watch the other. Hawaii Five-o had a tough task trying to re imagine a classic. With its casting and action sequences, I don't think Hawaiians will come to hate it as they did Jack Lord and the original, back in the late 60's/early 70's. As for Harry's Law, it's a David E, Kelly creation,which means quirky characters and peerless scripts. NBC will bring it back this Fall, for sure. Remember when they were the network that surmised everyone needed an hour of Jay Leno each weeknight at ten? See? We, as viewers, do have the power to stop corporate greed: stop watching shit!
AND FINALLY, A DOG DAY AFTERNOON
The last observation for May came as I tooled down the road between the mall and the former location of an Armstrong's Nursery. Call it a "Scene from the Suburbs": To my right was a grassy berm, in lieu of a sidewalk. In all of seven seconds, I saw a stunning woman, tightly wrapped in spandex and sneakers, wearing a visor just above her Sophia Loren-sized sunglasses, her pony tale bobbing around. In her right hand was a lime green plastic bag, in her left, the leash that controlled a beautiful Golden Retriever. As this good-looking lady jogged in place, the Golden Retriever assumed the position atop the berm, haunches quivering, face twitching, body shivering--it's as if this poor animal were trying to pass a Heisman Trophy! During these short, seven seconds of life, it occurred to me that this sexy woman, devoted, ready and willing to pick up after her distressed beast, would do anything for her dog--yet had neglected to put more fiber in his diet.
And no, I didn't look back to see if he'd "...made for mommy."
Thanks for your attention, and for more, check out my other blog at Lamediawatch.com, a new media sight from the imagination of Sky Walker. Click on "LAMEDIABLOG" for the story of "The Bag Man," a hilarious true to life radio tale of dead air and galloping gonads.
THIS IS A BULLETIN FROM CBS NEWS...
That's how they would slate it in television's first 15 years. A bulletin, like one would receive on an Associated Press ticker. Sunday May 1st, the slate read CBS NEWS Special Report, crawling at the bottom of the screen while 60 Minutes continued. I was on air, executing an innocuous weekend, TV on, as usual. It's pretty much a good idea to always have it on during an important ball game, or tuned to news, in case something of note should occur. Music stations don't pay for the Associated Press, anymore, and the internet is not as fast at breaking news as the networks and news channels on TV.
When CBS semi-interrupts its signature news program with a crawl that reads the "President of the United States will speak in half an hour," it gets your attention. What the hell could be happening on a Sunday night, 7:30 PDT, 10:30 Eastern Time? What topped my mind was, would I have to go on air with what ever is happening? Music stations do not, as a rule, stop the music unless there's a local emergency, war is declared, or someone of political prominence as been assassinated.
This is how I came to deliver the news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by Navy Seals in a surprise attack. I wasn't the first to break the news. I had to call the boss, then waited until the music sweep came to it's end at 8:18, just before President Obama addressed the nation. By then, all the networks had confirmed that Bin Laden was dead, but those in their cars listening to KRTH got it first from yours truly.
Even while playing a small role in the announcement of an historic moment, a student of journalism or "news junkie," can't help but observe how a major event is reported. Anyone my age or older remembers where they were and what they were doing when JFK, RFK and MLK, Jr. were assassinated; when Neil Armstrong stepped foot on the moon's surface; when Nixon resigned; when the Challenger exploded...and when those jets struck the twin towers and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001.
All I can tell you about November 22, 1963 was that the news came on, and wouldn't stop. No cartoons. Such is the perspective of a Four-year-old. My sister remembers the tears in Walter Cronkite's eyes as he broke the news. She was seven, and her recollection predates the thousands of times the moment has been replayed in the last 30 years. Usually, it's something like that which will stand out during the reporting of a crisis.
All of us vividly recall the late Peter Jennings in his shirtsleeves, on the air, day and night after Tuesday, 9/11/01. He was in control, calm and collected, and asking his director to linger on a shot of firefighters draping a flag across the roof of the Pentagon, nearest to where the intentionally crashed jetliner had left a gaping hole.
Sunday May 1st, because I was on the air, and had to quickly and concisely draft a bulletin for delivery on a music station (short and to the point), I didn't sample all the networks, but saw that NBC (reporting first on MSNBC, then breaking over the NBC network) had their first team working, regardless of the hour, and irrespective of it being Sunday night. David Gregory, host of Meet the Press, was first on, followed by White House Correspondent Chuck Todd, then Brian Williams, the nation's top-rated news anchor.
I had the studio TV on CBS, of course, with an occasional eye on 60 Minutes. It was Lara Logan's first appearance since her horrible assault in Egypt. I wrote an earlier post on this blog about Lara. It was as if our worst nightmare came true when she was attacked by that mob in February. Her disturbing account of the assault had concluded around 8:20, PDT. Within twenty minutes, she was back on the air, jarringly, describing Bin Laden and Al-Qaeda, in her role as CBS Chief Foreign Correspondent. In New York, hours had passed. Here, it made your head jerk! My God...this woman's resiliency! For now, it's the thing that stands out about what I saw, Sunday night, before the President spoke. There was something else I noted, though: Where were the rest of the CBS first-teamers?
Poor, sedate Russ Mitchell, seemed almost too calm, and over matched. The rest of the CBS crew gave good, hard news reports, but they are not well known at all. Bob Orr, David Martin, Chip Reid at the White House. If ever a network suffered from being in third place for twenty years, and if there were ever proof that it doesn't pay to not have a news channel under your company umbrella (as NBC does), CBS is it. Katie Couric will be gone, June 3rd, probably to ABC for a talk show, in 2012. The talent paid millions to be the face of the news organization was not to be found when the network reported that, at long last, Bin Laden was dead.
I couldn't help thinking back on the talent that went through CBS in the 60's, 70's and early 80's. SERIOUS journalists who were out front and ahead on every story from Moonshots to Vietnam, from Watergate to The Iran Hostage situation. My bookshelves are filled with memoirs by Roger Mudd, Dan Rather, Walter Cronkite, Bob Sheiffer, Daniel Shorr, and others who tell the story of how television journalism (specifically at CBS News) took shape, kept the country informed, and created a hefty sense of internal pride. They are trying to restore that pride. For nostalgia's sake, I certainly hope the company has their day once more.
D-O-D-G-E-R-S TEAM, TEAM, TEAM, TEAM...
What a mess. And I'm not just talking about their play on the field (we'll get to that later). In January of 2004, when Frank McCourt first stood before a press gaggle as "owner" of the Dodgers, I was listening to Big Joe McDonnell one of the most cogent and accurate sports voices in L.A. After ten minutes of McCourt, Big Joe went on and surmised that the guy was full of it, and that his highly leveraged acquisition of the team would lead to nothing but trouble. Did I say Joe's thoughts were cogent and accurate? In ten minutes he heard what it took Major League Baseball seven years to build a case against. Neither Joe nor MLB could have known that Frank and Jamie McCourt would have a messy divorce, but no one needs a crystal ball to have seen how they used the money gleaned from the teams assets.
After the Los Angeles Times reported that McCourt had to borrow 30 million to meet the Dodgers April payroll, Commissioner Bud Selig swooped in at last. They won't call it receivership, but what other term would one use when you take control of a franchise away from an owner?
For his part, McCourt has been on a media blitz, talking to any and every one with an open microphone...sort of like Charlie Sheen without the Tiger's Blood or the porn stars...trying desperately to win a public relations offensive based on flash, not substance. Guess what team won't meet payroll again, this month? Mr. McCourt should, for the sake of this great ball club, give up the ghost and cash out. There are any number of names with deep, deep pockets and community cache who would bring the luster back to Chavez Ravine--on and off the field.
The horrific beating of Giant fan Brian Stow has really cast a pawl over the start of the season. For reasons I've yet to determine, this incident resonated more than the killing of a Giant fan in the parking lot a few years ago, or the stabbing death of a fan outside Angel Stadium in Anaheim in 2009. It may well be because Mr. Stow was an EMT, and it was his life's work to come to the aid of his fellow man. It may also be that Dodger fans are fed up with whom they have to share the stadium with. It's been a poorly kept secret that fights have been a frequent occurrence in both outfield pavilions at Dodger Stadium, and in the Field level corners by the foul poles. That's where, in 2000, I saw a Giant fan pop a beach ball, hand his eye-glasses to his wife, then head into the aisle to meet four punks in Dodger-garb. They swarmed the Giant fan like they were back on the prison yard. And those not engaged in the beat-down looked on--some with toddlers seated on their shoulders so the kids could see the fight. It sickened me. It's been eleven years, and I still won't buy tickets in those sections.
Whoever purchases the Dodgers once MLB takes full control and kicks McCourt to the curb for certain, will have the money to make the team and the stadium experience much better. Even before Mr. Stow was attacked, and long before the Commissioner castrated Frank's ownership, I viewed the guys on the field as doomed to mediocrity-- nothing better than a .500 season looms. I wish I weren't right, but injuries and some obvious needs make the 2011 Dodgers worthy of all the empty seats you see at the stadium. Aside from Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp, L.A. is ordinary. Clayton Kershaw's curve is amazing, but, like his right-handed counterpart, Chad Bilingsley, there's usually one inconsistent inning per game that staves off greatness.
In short,(and mostly because McCourt has no money) they let their catcher, Russell Martin go, rather than pay him like a veteran. The Yankees are very happy to have him, as they cruise first place in the American League East. L.A. needs more punch at first base, a younger third baseman, an RBI man in left field, an established ace to lead the pitching staff, and a true closer, because Big Jon Broxton will give us all heart attacks, even when his elbow is healthy. McCourt's penny-pinching has a hand in all this. And yes, regardless of his performance-enhancing-drugs embarrassment, there would never have been a Mannywood, and the exciting close to 2008, had the Red Sox not paid all of Ramirez remaining salary for that season. The Dodgers got him free, essentially. Then they paid him...and he promptly got caught.
Steve Garvey says he's lined up two deep-pocketed investors. Rumors abound that the hallowed former owner of the Dodgers, Peter O'Malley, would come back to run the team with the right money behind him. Magic Johnson is interested in putting together a consortium. Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks is always looking to own a baseball team. There are options, here, to putting the Dodgers back on top. My Blue Blood is up! I hope something happens before the team has to play in front of no one but cleaning crews.
WHAT THE HELL IS SO REAL ABOUT REALITY?
I'm fed up with the talent shows, amateur hours, and anything that entails people performing a task, then being judged by three to four effete, supercilious entities who either weep for the poor varlots, or revel in their own superiority. These shows are relatively cheap to produce, and viewers are watching in droves. This perplexes me, because it means not too many share my viewing habits (speaking of reality shows-- ten years ago, who would have guessed Christina Aguilera and Kelly Osbourne would swap physiques? But I digress...). Folks, you are missing some funny shows:
Community, NBC Thursday, 8pm--You want laughs, you got 'em. Chevy Case hasn't been this amusing since Christmas Vacation.
The Office, NBC Thursday, 9pm--Steve Carell is gone, but he began to annoy me, anyway. The other characters are funny enough to carry the day.
Parks And Recreation, NBC Thursday 9:30pm -- In the mold of The Office. Amy Poehler has never been funnier. Rashida Jones is lovely and a great comedic actress. Like tThe Office, the other outrageous characters will both appall and amuse.
30 Rock, NBC, Thursday 10pm---Getting a little long in the tooth, but Tina Fey is a great writer. Alec Baldwin's comic timing is a true gift. The first few Emmy-winning seasons were the best.
Modern Family, ABC, Wednesday 9pm -- Again, like The Office and Parks and Recreation, filmed in documentary style, the writing here is crisp and never fails to deliver. Even if you have no sense of humor, Sofia Vergara is worth a look...or a good healthy stare!
Cougar Town ABC, Wednesday 9:30pm -- I feel like I'm the only person watching this. I'd rather laugh at a bunch of borderline boozers than absorb the pursuit of a mutilating serial killer on the competing Criminal Minds, or try and guess if evil will prevail on whatever verison of Law and Order that NBC is offering, these days. The mind behind Scrubs is the mind behind Cougar Town. That's enough for me, and Courteny Cox is holding up quite well, thank you.
...and the Dramas...
NCIS, CBS, Tuesday 8pm-- The humor, the camaraderie, Cote De Pablo? It's frequently the highest rated drama for a reason. And it holds its own against American Idol! Seacrest, OUT!!
The Good Wife, CBS Tuesday, 10pm -- The best written drama on TV. The casting is perfect. I've been a fan of Juliana Margulies since her days on ER. Some have called this a woman's show, but then they call every program that doesn't entail explosions "a woman's show." It has story arcs, yes, but there's nothing soapy about it. Watch an episode and tell me it's not superior to an hour of Trump browbeating
D-list celebrity messes.
Hawaii Five-O CBS, Monday 10pm, and Harry's Law, NBC, Monday 10pm-- Record one and watch the other. Hawaii Five-o had a tough task trying to re imagine a classic. With its casting and action sequences, I don't think Hawaiians will come to hate it as they did Jack Lord and the original, back in the late 60's/early 70's. As for Harry's Law, it's a David E, Kelly creation,which means quirky characters and peerless scripts. NBC will bring it back this Fall, for sure. Remember when they were the network that surmised everyone needed an hour of Jay Leno each weeknight at ten? See? We, as viewers, do have the power to stop corporate greed: stop watching shit!
AND FINALLY, A DOG DAY AFTERNOON
The last observation for May came as I tooled down the road between the mall and the former location of an Armstrong's Nursery. Call it a "Scene from the Suburbs": To my right was a grassy berm, in lieu of a sidewalk. In all of seven seconds, I saw a stunning woman, tightly wrapped in spandex and sneakers, wearing a visor just above her Sophia Loren-sized sunglasses, her pony tale bobbing around. In her right hand was a lime green plastic bag, in her left, the leash that controlled a beautiful Golden Retriever. As this good-looking lady jogged in place, the Golden Retriever assumed the position atop the berm, haunches quivering, face twitching, body shivering--it's as if this poor animal were trying to pass a Heisman Trophy! During these short, seven seconds of life, it occurred to me that this sexy woman, devoted, ready and willing to pick up after her distressed beast, would do anything for her dog--yet had neglected to put more fiber in his diet.
And no, I didn't look back to see if he'd "...made for mommy."
Thanks for your attention, and for more, check out my other blog at Lamediawatch.com, a new media sight from the imagination of Sky Walker. Click on "LAMEDIABLOG" for the story of "The Bag Man," a hilarious true to life radio tale of dead air and galloping gonads.
Monday, April 4, 2011
A BAD CASE OF THE "WHAT IFs"
We've all done it. Everyone has played "Kreskin" with our lives or historical events. Or, wondered, as Yogi Berra might put it, "What would have happened if what happened didn't happen?"
One-time speech writer and long-time Journalist Jeff Greenfield has put himself in front of a crystal ball and tried to determine the "what ifs" from our political landscape, and how our destinies would have been affected, in his new book, "Then Everything Changed." It's interesting fiction, and disturbing in some ways. Greenfield takes three events from the last 50 years and fleshes out what he imagines would have been the result: If what happened...hadn't happened. Without spoiling the plots, I'll just go over the events.
Greenfield reveals that a second-thought by a twisted mind really did prevent John F. Kennedy from behind blown up by a suicide bomber, as he left for church in Palm Beach, Florida, December 11, 1960. The would-be bomber didn't want to harm Jackie, who'd accompanied the then-President-Elect to the front door of their winter home, holding the new-born JFK, Jr.. Few were aware of this event, including historian Robert Dallek, who published a definitive JFK biography in 2003. Greenfield uses his immense political knowledge to fictionalize what might have been, had the bomber gone through with his plot, annihilated JFK, and left the country without a President-elect.
The second event under the microscope is the assassination of Robert Kennedy. What if RFK's brother-in-law, Stephen Smith, had been walking in front of Bobby, as he usually did, when the victorious candidate entered the kitchen of the Ambassador Hotel, June 4, 1968? What if he'd prevented Sirhan Bashera Sirhan from hitting his target?
The third destiny-altering speculation considers the 1976 debate between Democrat Jimmy carter, and Republican President Gerald Ford. What if Ford had recanted or clarified his off-handed comment that there "...would be no Soviet domination of Poland and Czechoslovakia under a Ford Administration." In truth, the comment put his campaign in damage-control mode, and stopped Ford's climb in the polls--just long enough for Carter to eventually eek out an electoral win. What if?
Greenfield's tome is fictional food for thought. Entertaining, sometimes outlandish, and in the case of what would have taken place had there not been a JFK administration, depressing. But, as with his political reporting for ABC, CNN and CBS over 40 years, his book is well considered, and excellently put to paper. It gave me an idea of my own, as all my reading material does: What would have happened had comedy, drama, and variety on radio survived the onslaught of television? What if there had not been the need to employ announcers to spin records? Had there been no such profession as the Disc Jockey? This one gives me pause. But if Jeff Greenfield can wonder aloud how a President Lyndon Johnson would have handled the Cuban missile crisis, surely I can conjecture a world without disc jockeys (the way my career has gone these last three years, the world's damned near been without THIS one!).
First of all, the birth of Rock and Roll would have been protracted. The crossover of R&B would have taken a great deal more time without a medium through which the music could be heard regularly. The social ramifications of this are almost too ponderous to explore in one sitting. What can be determined is...what would have become of the Disc Jockey?
That's easy. The talented, the greats, the legends, would still have been enormous successes in broadcasting. The age of comedy, drama and variety on radio was a tremendous playground for dialecticians and enunciators. By the early 1950's when the era was on the wane, Jack Webb was striving for more "natural" actors. Radio would have continued to create work for performers of all kinds who actually had the goods.
Now--what of the cavalcade of dumbshits, babblers, con artists and sex predators who helped heap shovelful after shovelful of dirt on disc jockeying, through their idiocy and marginal talent? The recipients of nepotism, cronyism, payola, plugola and practitioners of ethics that make Bernie Madoff look like Mohandas Ghandi? What of them? These are the folk who made it possible for consultants and programmers to comb through data, and rationalize that radio is better as background, etc. These are individuals who got wealthy by accident of fate. What would these people have done with themselves if they'd needed another venue for their deft application of office politics?
Hmmm. I can imagine a cluster of big-voiced buffoons auditioning to be Ronald McDonald in some local community. Or as clowns at children's parties (God help the kids!). Bellowing imbeciles warbling "Itsy-Bitsy Spider," to frightened boys and girls, who would, in turn, beg their moms and dads to whisk them from the presence of this narcissistic specter!
I can imagine a plethora of used car salesmen, telemarketers, and loud-mouths engaging in fisticuffs over infomercial hosting jobs. Alas, there would be precious few Doctors, engineers or rocket scientists with deep voices. In some cases, the number of interior decorators would overwhelm the market! And, sadly, welfare rolls would have increased incrementally...had there never been a need for disc jockeys.
In the end, though, what we have is a talent like Jeff Greenfield to come up with a fascinating premise for a novel, and entertain us by musing, "What if?"
One-time speech writer and long-time Journalist Jeff Greenfield has put himself in front of a crystal ball and tried to determine the "what ifs" from our political landscape, and how our destinies would have been affected, in his new book, "Then Everything Changed." It's interesting fiction, and disturbing in some ways. Greenfield takes three events from the last 50 years and fleshes out what he imagines would have been the result: If what happened...hadn't happened. Without spoiling the plots, I'll just go over the events.
Greenfield reveals that a second-thought by a twisted mind really did prevent John F. Kennedy from behind blown up by a suicide bomber, as he left for church in Palm Beach, Florida, December 11, 1960. The would-be bomber didn't want to harm Jackie, who'd accompanied the then-President-Elect to the front door of their winter home, holding the new-born JFK, Jr.. Few were aware of this event, including historian Robert Dallek, who published a definitive JFK biography in 2003. Greenfield uses his immense political knowledge to fictionalize what might have been, had the bomber gone through with his plot, annihilated JFK, and left the country without a President-elect.
The second event under the microscope is the assassination of Robert Kennedy. What if RFK's brother-in-law, Stephen Smith, had been walking in front of Bobby, as he usually did, when the victorious candidate entered the kitchen of the Ambassador Hotel, June 4, 1968? What if he'd prevented Sirhan Bashera Sirhan from hitting his target?
The third destiny-altering speculation considers the 1976 debate between Democrat Jimmy carter, and Republican President Gerald Ford. What if Ford had recanted or clarified his off-handed comment that there "...would be no Soviet domination of Poland and Czechoslovakia under a Ford Administration." In truth, the comment put his campaign in damage-control mode, and stopped Ford's climb in the polls--just long enough for Carter to eventually eek out an electoral win. What if?
Greenfield's tome is fictional food for thought. Entertaining, sometimes outlandish, and in the case of what would have taken place had there not been a JFK administration, depressing. But, as with his political reporting for ABC, CNN and CBS over 40 years, his book is well considered, and excellently put to paper. It gave me an idea of my own, as all my reading material does: What would have happened had comedy, drama, and variety on radio survived the onslaught of television? What if there had not been the need to employ announcers to spin records? Had there been no such profession as the Disc Jockey? This one gives me pause. But if Jeff Greenfield can wonder aloud how a President Lyndon Johnson would have handled the Cuban missile crisis, surely I can conjecture a world without disc jockeys (the way my career has gone these last three years, the world's damned near been without THIS one!).
First of all, the birth of Rock and Roll would have been protracted. The crossover of R&B would have taken a great deal more time without a medium through which the music could be heard regularly. The social ramifications of this are almost too ponderous to explore in one sitting. What can be determined is...what would have become of the Disc Jockey?
That's easy. The talented, the greats, the legends, would still have been enormous successes in broadcasting. The age of comedy, drama and variety on radio was a tremendous playground for dialecticians and enunciators. By the early 1950's when the era was on the wane, Jack Webb was striving for more "natural" actors. Radio would have continued to create work for performers of all kinds who actually had the goods.
Now--what of the cavalcade of dumbshits, babblers, con artists and sex predators who helped heap shovelful after shovelful of dirt on disc jockeying, through their idiocy and marginal talent? The recipients of nepotism, cronyism, payola, plugola and practitioners of ethics that make Bernie Madoff look like Mohandas Ghandi? What of them? These are the folk who made it possible for consultants and programmers to comb through data, and rationalize that radio is better as background, etc. These are individuals who got wealthy by accident of fate. What would these people have done with themselves if they'd needed another venue for their deft application of office politics?
Hmmm. I can imagine a cluster of big-voiced buffoons auditioning to be Ronald McDonald in some local community. Or as clowns at children's parties (God help the kids!). Bellowing imbeciles warbling "Itsy-Bitsy Spider," to frightened boys and girls, who would, in turn, beg their moms and dads to whisk them from the presence of this narcissistic specter!
I can imagine a plethora of used car salesmen, telemarketers, and loud-mouths engaging in fisticuffs over infomercial hosting jobs. Alas, there would be precious few Doctors, engineers or rocket scientists with deep voices. In some cases, the number of interior decorators would overwhelm the market! And, sadly, welfare rolls would have increased incrementally...had there never been a need for disc jockeys.
As for me? It's hard to think I could have had even less success doing something else. I would never had heard The Real Don Steele when I was an adult (hearing him when I was a kid doesn't count). I wouldn't have veered from sports to music presentation, and maybe would have been spared the occasional sociopath or megalomaniac as a direct supervisor. Who knows? I would have tried to write. We can never have any idea.
In the end, though, what we have is a talent like Jeff Greenfield to come up with a fascinating premise for a novel, and entertain us by musing, "What if?"
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
FREAKS AND CELEBRITY SLOP
As long as human beings have lived in communities, there have always been what we've colloquially (and not endearingly) called "freaks." From the village idiot to the court fool, from the afflicted to the deranged, these poor, misbegotten creatures have been the spectacles that drew mixed amounts of fascination, merriment and scorn.
P.T. Barnum made a fortune trotting out what were then called pinheads, bearded ladies, limbless souls, Siamese twins, all for perusal, derision, revulsion, and the almighty buck.
Society has advanced, thank God. The damaged among us are protected from exploitation by law and the evolution of our thinking. This does not mean our thirst for "freaks" has abated. Not a chance. Not as long as there are celebrities, and as long as money can be made exploiting their human condition.
Cases in point: One Carlos Estevez, AKA Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and the beauteous train-wreck-to-be named Christina Aguilera.
How is watching Charlie Sheen' s recent media blitz any different than answering the call of the Carnival Barker a hundred years ago, paying ten cents, and gaping at the Elephant Man? If Charlie weren't a wealthy, famous celebrity, we'd refer to him as that loadie, that perve, or, more kindly, "...that eccentric guy down the street with two broads. " We'd say he's crazy. We'd say he needs help. Since he's Charlie, most of us just watch the meltdown like the TV show it is, and wait for the pay-off. And once it happens, and Sheen disappears into either treatment or the abyss, our curiosity will take us somewhere else. Our curiosity--aided and abetted by the breathless reporting on all forms of media.
Should we feel remorse for our voyeurism? Should we point out that in the 1800's, families used to pack a picnic lunch to attend hangings? Is it our responsibility to police our primal urge to leer at the less fortunate, or that of the modern day P.T. Barnums of our world to sacrifice ratings, internet hits, and the priceless word of mouth gained by keeping Charlie's public pain in our faces?
He's hard to miss. There's a quote that describes Sheen's ubiquitousness over these last few days. It's what the late New York Yankee manager Ralph Houk said to a then-unknown sports reporter named Howard Cosell, in 1961: "You're like shit--you're everywhere." In this case, it's both Charlie, those willing to exploit him, and those of us eager to watch, that are everywhere... and feeling shitty about it.
Unlike Barnum's Freaks, some celebrities learn to make the exploitation work for them. Fifty years ago, Lindsay Lohan would have been disgraced and treated as radioactive. Today? Well, no, she can't land an acting job, but her perp-walks into court are carried live on local TV stations and cable networks. Can a young woman get the help she needs if she knows it will result in less attention?
Britney Spears has been largely off the radar since her celebrated breakdown. It's hard to forget, though, that she'd lost it, grabbed a pair of clippers and turned herself into Curly from the Three Stooges, a few years ago. At the time, her former Mickey Mouse Club mate, Christina Aguilera, shook her head and offered platitudes about Britney's behavior.
Judge not lest ye be judged, right? A few years have passed, and now it's Christina screaming for help--and a lot more distinctly than she sang the national anthem!
Miss Aguilera's is a case that draws our focus more sharply because she is so incredibly beautiful, and blessed with a voice that can make buildings shake. Sadly, Christina's public problems have been pushing on her fault-lines in wait of a quake. If her singing rattles buildings, her probable meltdown will make the structures tumble.
This is a woman gifted as a young child, who witnessed an abusive father in action, and took the bullying of classmates jealous of her precocious talent. This is personal baggage that gets unloaded publicly when fame and fortune manifest themselves. The results are predictable--young, lithe, pretty beyond reason, she was drawn to (and exploited by) older guys who could administer the maintenance she demanded--the maintenance that made her (according to a long list of people who've dealt with her) very difficult to work with.
You could see it in the succession of albums. Then the "Dirrty" video, the metal studs marring a face with porcelain features; marriage, a baby...the tabloid tidbits about wild sexual appetites...divorce, a new boyfriend not nearly as rich and famous as she was, and then the drinking. The drinking presaged the fiasco with the national anthem at the Super Bowl, the copious weight gain, and the tumble taken at the Grammy Awards.
Her now legendary difficulty has made it impossible for many to feel empathy. And it is only the antics of Charlie Sheen that have kept her arrest Tuesday morning from becoming a more full blown media event. The L.A. County Sheriff's Department only took her into custody for the night because they'd arrested her boyfriend on a DUI, and she was just too incapacitated to move.
Too drunk to take care of herself. Screwing up "The Star Spangled Banner" is one thing, a reason to snicker at her and view as just desserts for her being a difficult person. Drinking oneself into imbecility, however, doesn't happen without reason.
We'll watch, we'll behold, and cluck our tongues. Most of us will find within us the hope that Christina, Charlie and Lindsay will eventually entertain us with their talent, again...and not their desperation. It is a faustian bargain, the quest for fame.
P.T. Barnum made a fortune trotting out what were then called pinheads, bearded ladies, limbless souls, Siamese twins, all for perusal, derision, revulsion, and the almighty buck.
Society has advanced, thank God. The damaged among us are protected from exploitation by law and the evolution of our thinking. This does not mean our thirst for "freaks" has abated. Not a chance. Not as long as there are celebrities, and as long as money can be made exploiting their human condition.
Cases in point: One Carlos Estevez, AKA Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and the beauteous train-wreck-to-be named Christina Aguilera.
How is watching Charlie Sheen' s recent media blitz any different than answering the call of the Carnival Barker a hundred years ago, paying ten cents, and gaping at the Elephant Man? If Charlie weren't a wealthy, famous celebrity, we'd refer to him as that loadie, that perve, or, more kindly, "...that eccentric guy down the street with two broads. " We'd say he's crazy. We'd say he needs help. Since he's Charlie, most of us just watch the meltdown like the TV show it is, and wait for the pay-off. And once it happens, and Sheen disappears into either treatment or the abyss, our curiosity will take us somewhere else. Our curiosity--aided and abetted by the breathless reporting on all forms of media.
Should we feel remorse for our voyeurism? Should we point out that in the 1800's, families used to pack a picnic lunch to attend hangings? Is it our responsibility to police our primal urge to leer at the less fortunate, or that of the modern day P.T. Barnums of our world to sacrifice ratings, internet hits, and the priceless word of mouth gained by keeping Charlie's public pain in our faces?
He's hard to miss. There's a quote that describes Sheen's ubiquitousness over these last few days. It's what the late New York Yankee manager Ralph Houk said to a then-unknown sports reporter named Howard Cosell, in 1961: "You're like shit--you're everywhere." In this case, it's both Charlie, those willing to exploit him, and those of us eager to watch, that are everywhere... and feeling shitty about it.
Unlike Barnum's Freaks, some celebrities learn to make the exploitation work for them. Fifty years ago, Lindsay Lohan would have been disgraced and treated as radioactive. Today? Well, no, she can't land an acting job, but her perp-walks into court are carried live on local TV stations and cable networks. Can a young woman get the help she needs if she knows it will result in less attention?
Britney Spears has been largely off the radar since her celebrated breakdown. It's hard to forget, though, that she'd lost it, grabbed a pair of clippers and turned herself into Curly from the Three Stooges, a few years ago. At the time, her former Mickey Mouse Club mate, Christina Aguilera, shook her head and offered platitudes about Britney's behavior.
Judge not lest ye be judged, right? A few years have passed, and now it's Christina screaming for help--and a lot more distinctly than she sang the national anthem!
Miss Aguilera's is a case that draws our focus more sharply because she is so incredibly beautiful, and blessed with a voice that can make buildings shake. Sadly, Christina's public problems have been pushing on her fault-lines in wait of a quake. If her singing rattles buildings, her probable meltdown will make the structures tumble.
This is a woman gifted as a young child, who witnessed an abusive father in action, and took the bullying of classmates jealous of her precocious talent. This is personal baggage that gets unloaded publicly when fame and fortune manifest themselves. The results are predictable--young, lithe, pretty beyond reason, she was drawn to (and exploited by) older guys who could administer the maintenance she demanded--the maintenance that made her (according to a long list of people who've dealt with her) very difficult to work with.
You could see it in the succession of albums. Then the "Dirrty" video, the metal studs marring a face with porcelain features; marriage, a baby...the tabloid tidbits about wild sexual appetites...divorce, a new boyfriend not nearly as rich and famous as she was, and then the drinking. The drinking presaged the fiasco with the national anthem at the Super Bowl, the copious weight gain, and the tumble taken at the Grammy Awards.
Her now legendary difficulty has made it impossible for many to feel empathy. And it is only the antics of Charlie Sheen that have kept her arrest Tuesday morning from becoming a more full blown media event. The L.A. County Sheriff's Department only took her into custody for the night because they'd arrested her boyfriend on a DUI, and she was just too incapacitated to move.
Too drunk to take care of herself. Screwing up "The Star Spangled Banner" is one thing, a reason to snicker at her and view as just desserts for her being a difficult person. Drinking oneself into imbecility, however, doesn't happen without reason.
We'll watch, we'll behold, and cluck our tongues. Most of us will find within us the hope that Christina, Charlie and Lindsay will eventually entertain us with their talent, again...and not their desperation. It is a faustian bargain, the quest for fame.
Monday, February 14, 2011
FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK...
The results are in. It should be no surprise that the question I posed in the previous post produced exactly the results I expected.
Question: Do you still like humor in the presentation of your favorite songs on the radio? No scientific methods at work, here. No perceptuals, no pollster like Pat Caddell, no equations or word manipulations from a Frank Luntz--just a very informal question with some varied, but like-minded answers. All of them, predictably, in the affirmative. It might well have been informative to find someone who is so addled they don't enjoy humor on the radio, but then I'd have to reach out more to people so distraught they can't conceive of (or handle) anything thing but a morose, funereal presentation of the music. Unless, of course, we are being deceived. That would account for the ratings that keep stations with a "no humor policy" in big business. I suspect, as is the case with questions prepared for a political poll, it's how the query is posed. I'll return to that point after a look at what you have to say.
Radio veterans replied most to my question. George in L.A.'s San Fernando Valley was very brief with his answer: "Funny jocks aren't getting jobs." It's true.
Mark in San Diego left his view in the comments section, here. "As long as it's not drop your pants type humor." In presenting music, I agree. The edgy stuff is more apropos to morning shows, and not necessarily while riffing over a song intro aimed at women ages 25-54.
Kevin in Long Beach has more to say on this, in his comment. Click comments to read it in its entirety. In short, he says the business is in a spiral toward "never ending suicide."
From Brooklyn, New York, Bill writes, "Sure, the wit enhances the presentation. I've known non-radio people who will remember for YEARS a silly crack made by some guy on the air, and the guy who made it. A well-placed zinger in the middle of the formatics goes right to the bulls eye with the guy on the street. Slick programmers [though] have trouble with non-funny [jocks] trying to be funny, and typically overreact to creative content. Of course, the genuinely talented guys on the staff are then unfairly restricted. That problem has to do with the programmer's taste and intelligence...a whole different issue.
"Sure. great radio humor is as important today as ever. Pity, however, the funny performer who's career is controlled by an administrator who is intimidated by the guy's talent. The manner in which that administrator can short-circuit a man's future is decidedly UNfunny."
I've personally found out how true that can be!
Darryl in North County, San Diego, says its a problem throughout the entertainment business: "I'm of the mind that well thought out and clever/intellectual humor MUST be part of any decent broadcast. Station programmer/management types and so called "consultants" have ruined the radio markets with forced and monotonous playlists.
How could they have any idea about what radio audiences want with the inaccurate means of ratings measurement currently in use? Consider, it is they who have conditioned the minds of listeners to the degree of having no taste or actual opinions. The result?
The music industry, in keeping with similar schools of thought, has taken part in stifling true creativity and talent in favor of manufactured, gimmick-laden music, with no lasting or redeeming qualities whatsoever."
Ouch! True...and the subject of another blog at a future date that should inspire some realllly lively conversation!
John in the state of Washington touches on what Bill observed--that an unfunny jock, unlike the proverbial bad apple, can rot the barrel for us all.
"...I'm pretty sure the reason, in regard to radio, that people would say that they don't want to hear humor [in the presentation of music] is because so much of the humor tossed out on the air is bad...'hey, there's a traffic jam on the 405...well, they must be listening to ME...hahhahahahah...' and worse. It's often so bad, that's it's truly embarrassing, and as a listener, you can't help but want to turn the station or put in a CD.
Radio takes ordinary people and makes them think they are instant experts. A guy who used to sell cars gets a radio sales job and becomes an overnight expert on advertising and the song selection of a given format. A former fast-food worker gets an internship which leads to a board op position [one responsible for what's on the air, executes the elements, but doesn't ordinarily open the microphone], then gets to do the weather on air and suddenly they're a comedian. From there they go to work at a talk station, become instant experts on politics, or become part of the morning show on a music station and 'presto,' they're an expert on love relationships...oh...and they are also a comedian...."
Strong opinions, here.
A former programmer tells us radio is slowly squeezing itself into non-relevance by leaving its strengths, as MTV did. His post is here in the comments section, and speaks to the point: It's pretty much up to the programmer to insure that the station (the jocks) compels return visits by listeners...and well-placed humor is a part of the "personality" that makes them come back.
Finally, Dave in Woodland Hills pointed out that because of consolidation, companies have figured out a strategy that makes virtually everything said between (or over) song intros relate to the station, a current contest, or tease of what's coming in the next few minutes. And this should be constant. We've seen this on TV news, when the teases for a particular story about, say, side-effects of mixing Viagra and Flintstone vitamins, will add up to more air time than the actual story itself. To certain programmers, this squeezes humor off the agenda, even though talented jocks could toss off the tease in a very funny way.
All of this input is dead-on. No one wants ill-prepared jocks filling the air with attempts at humor that drives us to hit the seek button on the car radio. Yet declaring humor a felony inappropriately, regardless of what skewed statistics say, goes agin the human grain. Yes humor is subjective, but man has been laughing out loud since the earliest Neanderthal slipped on a banana peel. How hilarious it must have been to see that hairy bastard flying feet first and landing on his arse! I love a story told by author Robert Metz in his 1979 book, The Tonight Show, which chronicled the rise of the NBC show and offered a brief history of comedy's place in our world. In examining the path to be trod by Steve Allen, Jack Paar and Johnny Carson, Metz wrote of the fourteenth century German comic master, Til Eulenspiegel:
"Til was cruel in exercising his wit. In the village of Budenstetten, he was engaged by a parish priest with whom he was constantly in and out of trouble as he practiced his merry pranks--including a gross maneuver which caused the priest to relieve himself during mass. As stage manager of the Easter play, he situated an old foe, the priest's venerable chambermaid, at the tomb of Jesus to play the angel of the Lord. Til and two peasants took the parts of the three Marys. When the chambermaid-angel asked "Whom do you seek?" one of the peasants, on instructions from Eulenspiegel replied, "We are looking for an old, one-eyed concubine belonging to the priest." In the uproar that followed, Til was once more forced to flee."
I wonder how Til Eulenspiegel would have fared presenting music on the radio in 2011? Methinks he'd, once more, be forced to flee.
We love to laugh and make each other laugh. No one, from Captain Bligh to his current day, media counterparts, should forsake us that right--especially over the radio.
Question: Do you still like humor in the presentation of your favorite songs on the radio? No scientific methods at work, here. No perceptuals, no pollster like Pat Caddell, no equations or word manipulations from a Frank Luntz--just a very informal question with some varied, but like-minded answers. All of them, predictably, in the affirmative. It might well have been informative to find someone who is so addled they don't enjoy humor on the radio, but then I'd have to reach out more to people so distraught they can't conceive of (or handle) anything thing but a morose, funereal presentation of the music. Unless, of course, we are being deceived. That would account for the ratings that keep stations with a "no humor policy" in big business. I suspect, as is the case with questions prepared for a political poll, it's how the query is posed. I'll return to that point after a look at what you have to say.
Radio veterans replied most to my question. George in L.A.'s San Fernando Valley was very brief with his answer: "Funny jocks aren't getting jobs." It's true.
Mark in San Diego left his view in the comments section, here. "As long as it's not drop your pants type humor." In presenting music, I agree. The edgy stuff is more apropos to morning shows, and not necessarily while riffing over a song intro aimed at women ages 25-54.
Kevin in Long Beach has more to say on this, in his comment. Click comments to read it in its entirety. In short, he says the business is in a spiral toward "never ending suicide."
From Brooklyn, New York, Bill writes, "Sure, the wit enhances the presentation. I've known non-radio people who will remember for YEARS a silly crack made by some guy on the air, and the guy who made it. A well-placed zinger in the middle of the formatics goes right to the bulls eye with the guy on the street. Slick programmers [though] have trouble with non-funny [jocks] trying to be funny, and typically overreact to creative content. Of course, the genuinely talented guys on the staff are then unfairly restricted. That problem has to do with the programmer's taste and intelligence...a whole different issue.
"Sure. great radio humor is as important today as ever. Pity, however, the funny performer who's career is controlled by an administrator who is intimidated by the guy's talent. The manner in which that administrator can short-circuit a man's future is decidedly UNfunny."
I've personally found out how true that can be!
Darryl in North County, San Diego, says its a problem throughout the entertainment business: "I'm of the mind that well thought out and clever/intellectual humor MUST be part of any decent broadcast. Station programmer/management types and so called "consultants" have ruined the radio markets with forced and monotonous playlists.
How could they have any idea about what radio audiences want with the inaccurate means of ratings measurement currently in use? Consider, it is they who have conditioned the minds of listeners to the degree of having no taste or actual opinions. The result?
The music industry, in keeping with similar schools of thought, has taken part in stifling true creativity and talent in favor of manufactured, gimmick-laden music, with no lasting or redeeming qualities whatsoever."
Ouch! True...and the subject of another blog at a future date that should inspire some realllly lively conversation!
John in the state of Washington touches on what Bill observed--that an unfunny jock, unlike the proverbial bad apple, can rot the barrel for us all.
"...I'm pretty sure the reason, in regard to radio, that people would say that they don't want to hear humor [in the presentation of music] is because so much of the humor tossed out on the air is bad...'hey, there's a traffic jam on the 405...well, they must be listening to ME...hahhahahahah...' and worse. It's often so bad, that's it's truly embarrassing, and as a listener, you can't help but want to turn the station or put in a CD.
Radio takes ordinary people and makes them think they are instant experts. A guy who used to sell cars gets a radio sales job and becomes an overnight expert on advertising and the song selection of a given format. A former fast-food worker gets an internship which leads to a board op position [one responsible for what's on the air, executes the elements, but doesn't ordinarily open the microphone], then gets to do the weather on air and suddenly they're a comedian. From there they go to work at a talk station, become instant experts on politics, or become part of the morning show on a music station and 'presto,' they're an expert on love relationships...oh...and they are also a comedian...."
Strong opinions, here.
A former programmer tells us radio is slowly squeezing itself into non-relevance by leaving its strengths, as MTV did. His post is here in the comments section, and speaks to the point: It's pretty much up to the programmer to insure that the station (the jocks) compels return visits by listeners...and well-placed humor is a part of the "personality" that makes them come back.
Finally, Dave in Woodland Hills pointed out that because of consolidation, companies have figured out a strategy that makes virtually everything said between (or over) song intros relate to the station, a current contest, or tease of what's coming in the next few minutes. And this should be constant. We've seen this on TV news, when the teases for a particular story about, say, side-effects of mixing Viagra and Flintstone vitamins, will add up to more air time than the actual story itself. To certain programmers, this squeezes humor off the agenda, even though talented jocks could toss off the tease in a very funny way.
All of this input is dead-on. No one wants ill-prepared jocks filling the air with attempts at humor that drives us to hit the seek button on the car radio. Yet declaring humor a felony inappropriately, regardless of what skewed statistics say, goes agin the human grain. Yes humor is subjective, but man has been laughing out loud since the earliest Neanderthal slipped on a banana peel. How hilarious it must have been to see that hairy bastard flying feet first and landing on his arse! I love a story told by author Robert Metz in his 1979 book, The Tonight Show, which chronicled the rise of the NBC show and offered a brief history of comedy's place in our world. In examining the path to be trod by Steve Allen, Jack Paar and Johnny Carson, Metz wrote of the fourteenth century German comic master, Til Eulenspiegel:
"Til was cruel in exercising his wit. In the village of Budenstetten, he was engaged by a parish priest with whom he was constantly in and out of trouble as he practiced his merry pranks--including a gross maneuver which caused the priest to relieve himself during mass. As stage manager of the Easter play, he situated an old foe, the priest's venerable chambermaid, at the tomb of Jesus to play the angel of the Lord. Til and two peasants took the parts of the three Marys. When the chambermaid-angel asked "Whom do you seek?" one of the peasants, on instructions from Eulenspiegel replied, "We are looking for an old, one-eyed concubine belonging to the priest." In the uproar that followed, Til was once more forced to flee."
I wonder how Til Eulenspiegel would have fared presenting music on the radio in 2011? Methinks he'd, once more, be forced to flee.
We love to laugh and make each other laugh. No one, from Captain Bligh to his current day, media counterparts, should forsake us that right--especially over the radio.
Monday, February 7, 2011
ANSWER ME THIS...
I've had a thousand thoughts and opinions rumble through my head since I last updated this blog. It is true, I probably won't drone on about politics very much, anymore. As much a s I would contribute to the national discussion, I'd rather make you laugh, or inquire your opinions. Most of the comments to my blogs have been spam from overseas websites of...dubious nature.
This month I'd really like some answers from everyone who reads my blathering and blithering. Because I need an answer.
"The Radio" has been my career for three decades, now. For those of you who share this profession, a long recounting of what has changed in broadcasting (and changed for the worst) is not necessary. And those who are in the business also know that, to keep working and keep winning, we sometimes adjust our ideas to "go-along and get-along." But I must ask all of you, fellow broadcasters, personalities, friends or just the person who still flips on the radio for a little music or talk:
Do you still like a little humor with the presentation of your favorite songs?
Among the many ways the radio biz has gone south in the last decade has been the purge of humor from the delivery of music. Some of this approach comes from "perceptuals," or "polling" by consultants. The lighter the fare, the less humor. The younger the music...the less humor.
Write a comment to this post if you enjoy a laugh with music as its presented. It's not a real Focus Group, not a scientific poll, but it goes a long way to proving what I believe: That well placed zingers augment the music and enhance the station.
What say you?
This month I'd really like some answers from everyone who reads my blathering and blithering. Because I need an answer.
"The Radio" has been my career for three decades, now. For those of you who share this profession, a long recounting of what has changed in broadcasting (and changed for the worst) is not necessary. And those who are in the business also know that, to keep working and keep winning, we sometimes adjust our ideas to "go-along and get-along." But I must ask all of you, fellow broadcasters, personalities, friends or just the person who still flips on the radio for a little music or talk:
Do you still like a little humor with the presentation of your favorite songs?
Among the many ways the radio biz has gone south in the last decade has been the purge of humor from the delivery of music. Some of this approach comes from "perceptuals," or "polling" by consultants. The lighter the fare, the less humor. The younger the music...the less humor.
Write a comment to this post if you enjoy a laugh with music as its presented. It's not a real Focus Group, not a scientific poll, but it goes a long way to proving what I believe: That well placed zingers augment the music and enhance the station.
What say you?
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